Heir of Slytherin: Funktional Dysfunktion
by Anony-Bunny
Summary: New students have arrived at Hogwarts on a mission but get sidetracked by the appeal of throwing Draco and Ginny together. But nothing ever goes according to plan when you have an arrogant headstrong Malfoy and an equally headstrong Weasley to deal with.
1. At First Sight: Squinting Makes It Clear

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the characters in the Potterverse. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. Besides, why would this story be at FANFiction. Net? Notice the word FAN. I think I've made it pretty clear who owns them.

**SUMMARY: **Hogwarts gets turned upside down with the arrival of quirky new students. One of the quirky students has an insane idea – play matchmaker for Draco and Ginny! Wackiness ensues as good ole Voldy is thrown into the mix and Hogwarts is turned upside down. 

**PAIRINGS: **D/G R/Hr H/OC

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **This is set in Draco's seventh year and Ginny's sixth. This is my first HP fic, so be nice. Please read and review!

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 I want to heal  
I want to feel  
What I thought was never real  
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long

I want to heal  
I want to feel  
Like I'm close to something real  
I want to find something I've wanted all along  
Somewhere I Belong  
  


Somewhere I Belong – Linkin Park 

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Ginny felt herself retreating further inside as she beheld the scene in front of her. It was something she saw daily; something she was used to. But it never failed to make her feel worse every time. She fought to keep her tears at bay as she tortured herself with the image. 

Harry and Ron were discussing Quidditch and Hermione had her nose buried in a book. No one saw her; she was invisible to them. No one cared.

She had felt this way since her first year and it worsened with every passing year. She was Ginny Weasley – _Ron's kid sister, Harry's lovesick puppy and the Girl Who Opened The Chamber Of Secrets. _She was tired of being treated like a child; like a fragile porcelain doll. She would be sixteen soon dammit!

She couldn't stand the sight any longer and left their compartment as a wave of nausea washed over her. She felt like crying her eyes out and needed to do it in private. She didn't feel the need for Ron's pity and his friends 'sympathetic' looks. 

She found an empty cabin and went inside. She rummaged in her purse and brandished a flask filled with amber liquid. She opened the flask and drank from it; allowing the liquid to caress the walls of her throat. Her eyes watered as the liquid burned her throat. 

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and sobbed. Soon the sobs turned into full blown weeping as she finished the rest of the flask's contents.

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"Are you okay?" came the distant voice.

Ginny slowly opened her eyes and blinked rapidly in an effort to clear her blurry vision. Ginny moaned as her stomach churned. She felt the strongest urge to empty the contents of her stomach immediately. 

"She doesn't look so hot,"

"I think I know why,"

"Nothing like getting piss drunk to kick off the school year,"

"Agreed. I have a hangover potion here somewhere,"

"My twin the Girl Scout,"

"You know me - always prepared. Drink this, doll,"

Ginny was vaguely aware of the bottle touching her lips as she instinctively drank its contents. She rejoiced as the potion took effect immediately. Four heads became two as she looked up to see a boy and a girl hovering above her. They were exotic replicas of each other with their brown eyes, pointy ears, olive skin and long black hair in ponytails.

"Are you feeling better sweetie?" asked the girl with a concerned look.

"Much. Thank you," Ginny replied with a sigh.

"You're welcome very much," said the girl with a grin.

"So what's your name _chèrie_?" asked the boy.

"Virginia Weasley. But everyone calls me Ginny," she answered.

"Ah, _Ginny_ … such a beautiful name for such a breathtaking angel. I am honoured to make your acquaintance. I'm Andrew Huntington," he replied, kissing Ginny's hand.

Ginny grinned in spite of herself.  The girl rolled her eyes as he released her hand. 

"I'm Andrea. Don't pay any attention to my brother. He thinks he's Prince Charming," said the girl.

"You wound me! I _am _Prince Charming," Andrew replied.

"More like the Frog Prince. Drew, you're as charming as a rabid dog," Andrea quipped.

"Where are you from?" asked Ginny.

"America. We transferred from Thisselwaite Academy in New Jersey to Hogwarts," Andrea answered.

"What's it like at Hogwarts?" asked Andrew.

"Hogwarts is … interesting. There's never a dull moment," Ginny responded.

"Sounds like my kinda school," said Andrew with a grin.

Andrea looked at her twin and look of understanding passed between them. Andrew nodded and got up. 

"Right then. I'm going to wreak havoc while I still can. See ya Ginny, Andy," said Andrew.

"Later Drew. Don't do anything I would do," Andrea replied.

"Whoring is not my style. I'm not that kind of guy!" said Andrew in mock indignation.

"Ha ha. Get lost Drew," Andrea replied

Andrew grinned and left the cabin. Andrea rolled her eyes and sighed. 

"Brothers," said Andrea.

"I know. I've got six," Ginny replied.

"You poor child. No one should ever have to endure such suffering," Andrea teased. Ginny grinned.

"Why were you crying, doll?" asked Andrea.

Ginny looked at Andrea, trying to decide whether to confide in her or not. Ginny needed to talk to someone or she would gradually self-destruct and Andrea looked like someone she could trust.  The decision was made, as she found herself confiding in Andrea.

++++++

"Ginny, it doesn't matter how they see you. What matters is how you see yourself. It's all about self-confidence, sweetie. If you think you're the best thing to have graced the halls of Hogwarts since Albus Dumbledore, then others will treat you likewise," said Andrea.

"That sounds… conceited," Ginny replied.

"It depends on the degree you take it to. If you act like they're lucky to breath the same air you do, then conceit steps in. You'll be a whole new you with a little confidence; and a makeover wouldn't hurt either, said Andrea.

+++++

"I wonder which house you'll be in," said Ginny.

"Only one way to find out," Andrea replied, as they entered the Great Hall. 

"I hope you're in Gryffindor. I've got to join the others," said Ginny heading for the Gryffindor table.

Andrea scanned the crowd, looking for her twin amidst the sea of pointed black Hogwarts hats. She found him among the First Years who were filing into the hall. She joined him and watched as Professor McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on the scared First Years' heads. After the First Years were sorted, it was time for the twins to be sorted.

" This year, we have two special new additions to Hogwarts- Andrew and Andrea Huntington. They will be joining the Seventh Years," said Professor McGonagall.

Professor McGonagall motioned Andrew to sit down. He grinned as the Sorting Hat was placed on his head. "Gryffindor!" the hat bellowed. Cheers erupted as the Gryffindors welcomed the new addition to their fold. 

Andrea took a deep breath as she sat on the stool. She looked at the Gryffindor table to see her brother and Ginny smiling at her reassuringly. Professor McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on her head as she awaited her fate.

She frowned as the Sorting Hat deliberated as to whether she belonged in Gryffindor or Slytherin. She soon became impatient, as the hat remained undecided. 

"Would you decide already? You've been doing this for years. How hard is it to sort me into a house?" said Andrea in exasperation. 

"Slytherin!" the hat bellowed, finally coming to a decision.

Ginny looked crestfallen at Andrea's placement. Andrea shrugged and mouthed " Sorry", as she made her way to the Slytherin table. Andrea decided to sit across from none other than – _Draco Malfoy_.

"Did I request your presence within my vicinity?" asked Draco, his voice dripping with disdain.

"Believe me. Your face is not one I'd want around me when eating or just around me for that matter. But I just have to suck it up and sit here. Besides, who are you to dictate seating arrangements? The freaking Charlemagne?" Andrea replied coolly.

"No. I'm _Draco Malfoy_," he said snidely.

"Is this the part where I cower in fear and lick your boots? Who you are doesn't matter. You could be Voldemort for all I care. Just know this, you arrogant, callous, over-compensating, ass-kissing jerk – I am not someone to be messed with. If you mess with me, there will be hell to pay. I'll fuck you up so bad; you'll be begging me to end your pitiful existence. So back off, you sorry excuse for a human being," Andrea replied venomously. 

She glowered at Draco as Dumbledore finished his beginning of term speech and the feast began. Dumbledore sat in his chair and observed the newly arrived twins. The coming year was going to be an interesting one at Hogwarts. He could feel it in his bones. He also felt something niggling him in the back of his mind as he observed the girl. _There was something about the girl … she reminded him of someone. But who?_


	2. It Makes You Wonder: Why Me?

Chapter Two

Andy shivered as the cold morning air brushed against her skin. She had just taken an ice cold shower in order to wake herself up and was seriously regretting having given up coffee. She purred as she dried off with her fluffy towel and slipped into her nice warm robe and Spongebob Squarepants slippers.

"Now I'm wide awake and ready to take on the world. I'm ready! I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready…" she sing-songed while doing a weird jig, mimicking everyone's favourite sponge.

Andy's mirth soon disappeared as she began dressing for school. She tried to pick up her socks, but they ran away from her. She frowned and tried to pick up another pair, but it too ran away. Her frown deepened even more as her uniform joined in the fray. Soon, she was chasing every item of clothing she owned around her room.

"Come back here stupid clothes! "she yelled, chasing them around the room while she unsuccessfully tried to grab them.

Just then, her roommate entered the room. Suddenly, her clothes seized the opportunity and ran through the door. Andy tried to at least catch an oversized t-shirt but it got away.

"Damn! Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!" Andy swore as she slumped to the floor in defeat.

"What the bloody hell's going on?" her roommate Eleanor Langley demanded, eyeing the runaway clothes and a defeated Andy.

"I'm going to kill them! They're going to die a slow, horrible, painful death! I'LL KILL 'EM!" Andy yelled, clenching her fists tightly.

"The clothes? You're a prize nutter Huntington. Here. You can borrow these until they return." Eleanor offered her a blouse and a skirt.

"Thanks." Andy replied, reaching for the clothes. But as soon as her hand neared the clothes, they fled and clung to Eleanor. Eleanor burst into laughter and Andy shot daggers at her, swearing once again to avenge herself.

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"So let me get this straight…your clothes….no, clothes in general were terrified of you?" asked Drew as he, Ginny and Andy walked to class.

"Yes. My damn robe was the only thing I could wear. I think they charmed all the clothes in the entire house!" Andy replied tersely.

"That's hilarious!" said Drew, consumed by a fit of laughter.

"It's not funny!" Andy growled.

"Yes it bloody is! I wish I could've been there to see you chasing your clothes!" said Ginny laughing as well.

"Ooh…I hate the two of you. I _really_ appreciate your support. Thanks a lot!" Andy spat.

"Aww…c'mon Andy. You have to admit….it sounds pretty funny." said Drew, placing his arm around her. Andy shot him a murderous glare but soon began to laugh as she imagined the morning's spectacle.

"You're right. It _is _funny when you think about it. But I'm going to get my revenge. " Andy admitted with a smirk.

_Damn Sleazy Slytherins! What happened to house loyalty? You've crossed the line. This means war! _

"Didn't you feel…odd? I mean you were walking around starkers under that robe for Merlin's sake!" Ginny inquired.

"Not really. It was kind of…freeing." Andy answered, twirling dramatically.

"Says the girl who chased her clothes around her room." Drew quipped.

"Shut up Drew! But I got things under control and now I'm ready to do some damage. " Andy swatted his shoulder as they walked off to their various classes.

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Ginny strolled down the corridors, her nose buried in a textbook. She was taking Advanced Potions and Snape was thrice as hard on her so she wanted to be on the ball when he picked on…no, _attacked_ her in class again. She had to go above and beyond Hermione-esque studiousness if she was ever to have any semblance of peace in Snape's class. So engrossed was she in the book that she didn't notice an advancing Draco. She gasped when she collided with him and fell to the floor.

"Well, if it isn't the _Weaselette_. Still wearing those hand-me-downs I see. One could easily mistake you for a lowly house elf… especially since you're on your knees giving the floor a good scrub. "Draco sneered as she gathered her scattered belongings.

_She had crashed into a wall…Draco Malfoy to be exact. Why her? The gods could be so cruel at times! _

Ginny scoffed and scrutinized him from head to toe and rolled her eyes. She walked around him and left him staring at her in confusion. He was expecting the usual verbal assault but was disappointed. It was like she had deemed him unworthy… and it galled him. _How dare she? How dare the little filth treat a **Malfoy** in such a manner? _

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Ginny sighed as she sat on a bench beside Andy in the schoolyard. As soon as Andy asked how she was doing she began to rant. She had run into that _smarmy git_ Malfoy. She had wanted to injure Malfoy so badly but had restrained herself…which was a gargantuan effort. She had been sorely tempted to slip back into the old routine of exchanging barbs and slurs with probably a well-landed kick to his groin to finish things off, but she wasn't going to stoop to his level. _No…not her. This was a whole new Ginny… a collected, even-tempered Ginny. No more flying off the handle!_

The wheels in Andy's head began to turn as she listened to the irritated Ginny. Somehow she felt the relationship between Ginny and Malfoy was more about sexual tension than unadulterated, feudal hate…or maybe that was her closet romantic side rearing its head. Didn't matter…she was going to get those two together if it killed them…if not in the name of romance then in the name of ennui and entertainment.


	3. DeNial is not just a river in Egypt

**Author's Note: **

**_Kairi 999- _I did put dividers between the texts but somehow during the upload it got messed up. Damn you **

**_RioSky_- Thank you for offering your services. I need the help. **

**_Sunday-Morning_ – It means a lot to know that I'm doing something right. **

**_Every one_ – Thank you for taking the time to read and review my feeble attempt at a story. You male my day more than you know. I hope you're loyal to this story to the end.**

Chapter Three

Ginny frowned as she looked in the mirror. She cupped her breasts and eyed them critically. Then she turned to the side and eyed her bum. She sighed in disgust and threw herself onto the bed.

"Merlin I'm pathetic! I have no tits or arse to speak of! I have no sex appeal whatsoever! I'm the Pansy Parkinson of Gryffindor!" Ginny wailed.

"That's not true Ginny. You're...passably attractive. I mean you're not a stunner...but you're not a monster either." Andy replied, munching on a milk-soaked Oreo.

"_How comforting_…Give me one of those." Ginny drawled, taking away the bag of Oreos from Andy.

"I'm just being honest Gin. So you're not Miss Universe, but you can make up for it in other ways." said Andy, downing another Oreo.

"Miss Who?" asked Ginny.

"It's a muggle thing. I'll tell you about it some other time. The degradation/ empowerment of half-naked women under the guise of a humanitarian contest is not something one wants to be ignorant of." Andy answered, her mind in danger of going off on a tangent about beauty contests and world peace.

Andy arched her eyebrow and cocked her head to the side- a sure sign that her mind was wandering. Ginny had been picking up these little signals and was beginning to learn how to deal with Andy. Ginny snapped her fingers in front of Andy, causing her to snap out of her reverie with a sheepish grin.

"Sorry. My mind went on a ride on the Train of Thought for a moment." Andy explained.

"Good to have you back. Now tell me how I can make up for my lack of good looks?" said Ginny.

"With your personality of course! You don't need a fabulous body like mine to get a guy. Ginny you're funny (when you want to be), you're smart, determined, loyal, a smidge stubborn (just a smidge), a survivor…there must be one guy somewhere who appreciates that. If not, then a bunch of assholes roam these corridors." Andy explained, opening a bag of chips.

"Your fabulous body?" Ginny echoed, glaring at Andy.

"Of course. Look at my body and look at yours, which is more drool-worthy? C'mon Gin, let's not fool ourselves here…" Andy drawled.

Ginny gasped and glared at Andy. _How dare she?_ _Is she saying that I'm ugly? I'm not ugly? I'm better looking than half the girls in this school!_

"Fool myself? I'll have you know that my body _is_ drool- worthy you bloody conceited bitch! Who do you think you are? You sure as hell aren't bloody Sleeping Beauty!" Ginny snapped, tired of being regarded as not being beautiful over the years (mostly by herself).

"I was wondering how long it would take for you to snap. You've been telling yourself that you're a damn ugly duckling for years now that you brainwashed yourself into believing it! But if you remember Ginny, the ugly duckling turned into a beautiful swan. It is confidence in addition to personality that make you beautiful. When that damn bird looked into the water and saw the sexy swan it had become it thought 'Would you look at that? I'm a bloody masterpiece! I'm a sexy-ass bitch! Who wouldn't want a piece of this?' " and then went out to screw the nearest swan." Andy replied, unaffected by Ginny's rant.

Ginny couldn't help but laugh at Andy's version of the tale, realizing that her words held truth. After she sobered up, she looked into the mirror once more and stared long and hard at her image. She was still having difficult in seeing the beauty she supposedly possessed.

"Don't expect to see an alluring nymph Gin. You have to look inside and outside. Think of all your good qualities- both physical and personality-wise. When you do that, look at yourself and really see those qualities. Then you'll see the alluring nymph." Andy instructed her.

Ginny closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting a sense of calm wash over her. Then she opened her eyes and stared at herself yet again.

_Ok, what makes me beautiful? Let's start with the outside -I have nice hair it's not that red-orange Weasley look but more of a…what did Andy call it? ... burnt sienna. What else? My eyes are nice –they give me a cute, innocent look. Let's see… my tits aren't half bad, neither is my arse. Hey! My legs aren't bad too. In fact, they're quite fabulous if I do say so myself. Hmm…I'm not repulsive after all. _

Andy noticed Ginny's countenance brighten as she looked at herself and gave herself an imaginary pat on the back. _She's gaining some confidence. She only seems to think she's beautiful when someone riles her. At least now she thinks she's pretty when she's calm._ _Wonder how long it'll last? No matter. It's a start._

"Would you look at that? I'm a bloody masterpiece! I'm a sexy-ass bitch! Who wouldn't want a piece of this?" Ginny proclaimed suddenly, jarring Andy out of her thoughts.

_Good! Now to get her thinking she's good enough for Draco Malfoy… or him being good enough for her. Whatever. Just as long as I get them together for the little Halloween dance Dumbledore's planning._

"The swan has spoken. So Ginny, who's your date for the Halloween shindig?" said Andy, fishing for information to fuel her matchmaking plans.

"Date? I'm not going with anyone. No one's asked me and I haven't asked any one. Who're you going with? " Ginny replied.

"Draco Malfoy." Andy replied.

"D-Draco Malfoy? A-Are you talking about the royal bouncing ferret-y bane of my existence?" asked Ginny with a stutter.

"Yeah."

"But I thought you didn't like him."

"Sure he can be an ass. But he's a sexy ass and he has one too. I can appreciate a gorgeous male specimen when I see one. Besides, all that fire makes for great sex." Andy leered, licking her lips and wagging her eyebrows with a predatory gleam in her eyes.

"Andy!"

"What? It's true! You can't tell me that you've never ever thought of shagging him? How could you not notice his hotness? He has that whole aristocratic, bad- boy sex-god thing going and it's a total turn-on! What are you? Blind?"

"You're bloody insane! Who thinks of Draco Malfoy that way except Pugsy Parkinson?"

"Her and almost every red-blooded female in this school, probably inclusive of teachers."

"Ughh! Have you gone mad?"

"No. You're the crazy one! You've never wondered what it would be like if he brought all that …that…manly vigour, that hot ice to your bed? You've never wondered if you could make him melt? Wipe that smug look off his face and have him begging for your touch? Where have you been living all this time Weasley?"

"Among the sane is where. You should come too. There's a nice cosy flat by the lake with a view of all the nutters on the other side."

"No thanks. But over here I share a nice cosy mansion with the likes of Draco and other gorgeous guys where orgies abound."

"Hopeless."

"Seriously, look at him and tell me he's not hot." said Andy, flipping through her sketchbook and thrusting a page into her hand.

Ginny frowned as she eyed the paper Andy had given her. It was a charcoal rendition of Draco lying on a couch shirtless. He had a bored look about him. Andy had done a wonderful job with her use of light and how it played across his body- emphasizing the definition of his features.

Ginny's breath caught in her throat as she stared into Draco's eyes. His eyes held a certain arrogance and chill but also a hint of sadness. The sadness wasn't obvious but if you looked at it long and hard (and if you were used to that sad look in your own eyes as Ginny was) you saw it. For that moment, she saw a kindred spirit in him but she quickly brushed it aside.

"I-It's brilliant Andy. You never told me you could draw." Ginny complimented her, returning the drawing.

"Thank you. You never asked. I want you to keep it. I'd be insulted if you didn't." Andy replied, refusing to take it from her.

"Andy…"

"Ginny…"

"Andy!"

"Ginny! Y'know, I could keep this up all day. I've got nothing to do."

"Fine. I've got to go. I have to meet Professor McGonagall now. "

"See y'later Gin." Andy sing-songed, munching on the chips.

"You too Andy." Ginny replied, knocking on the mirror thrice. Suddenly the mirror rippled like a pool of water and Ginny was looking at her room. She grabbed the rest of the chips from Andy with a grin and stepped through the mirror into her room.

"Hey! Those are barbecue flavoured. Gimme those!" Andy exclaimed as Ginny waved at her. As Andy was about to recover her chips, Ginny murmured,"_Transmuto_", returning the mirror to its original state. Andy stuck out her tongue at the mirror and returned to her bed.

_Well, Andy old girl…it looks as if things are looking up. There's hope - she didn't deny his hotness but she didn't acknowledge it either. Ah well, we've planted the seed in her head, now to do the same to Draco. That's going to be a doozie! But that's what makes it so fun. Time to go to the library -I have to do a little gardening of my own_.


	4. In Your Shoes: Heels Are A Killer

A/N: Me thanks you all for the encouraging reviews. A special thanks to **little-munchkin-poo** for giving me an idea. I was a little stuck on the next chapter but you helped. Thanks doll!

Chapter Four

_"Dragon…don't…I will fall," she said in a strangled whisper._

_"No, you will not," he told her._

_He steadied her, listening to the wracked breathing that escaped her lips, felt the quiver become a deep trouble. He drew her tightly against him, drew his fingers in a slow, destined caress from her calf to her upper thighs, and then between. Her scent was intoxicating, her taste an aphrodisiac that raged within the senses, and made him mad. And still, he fought the hunger that had become a burning anguish, and stroked with touch and tongue through to the most intimate petals of her body, nestled in a sea of red curls as soft and luxurious and damp as liquid silk. Her knees did buckle and give and she fell against him, a cry tearing from her lips…_

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Draco awoke from a particularly arousing dream with a smile and a hard-on. It was one that had been recurring since last year. It always left him aroused and frustrated because her face and her voice were a blur. All he could remember were the sensations from their frenzied touches and heated kisses. It was bittersweet torture, for he could feel it in his bones that she truly existed but he didn't know what she looked like.

He swore softly and swung his feet to the side of the bed. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at his jutting member. _That would be his third cold shower in a week! What the bloody hell was wrong with him? It was like he was in heat! No matter how many girls he shagged, the dream still haunted him. It was as if he would get no peace until he found this mystery girl and fucked her good and proper! _He got up off the bed and grabbed his things and trudged to the shower.

After a long, ice cold shower, he headed back to his room to get dressed. As he stood in front of his mirror, his eyes nearly popped out of his head. Staring back at him was not Draco Malfoy – it was bloody Harry-fucking-Potter! Draco growled and grabbed his wand. He tried every spell he knew to try and undo the prank but nothing worked. He swore profusely as he donned his uniform and trekked to seek Madame Pomfrey's aid.

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Ginny had a dream in the night. It was warm, seductive, entirely sensual, and sexual to a point where it seemed she would crawl from her own skin. Sheer wonder, ecstasy and pleasure. She felt kisses against her shoulders, her breasts, her hips, and her lips…and she was kissing back, wildly, unable to get enough of her lover. She couldn't see his face or hear his voice clearly but she could feel it deep down that she knew him. _She knew him._ _But who was he?_

Ginny opened the Potions book she had borrowed from the library and saw Andy's drawing of Draco and frowned. Why had she put it there? Why hadn't she stashed it in some remote corner of her room? _You know why…because you wanted to look at him again…you want him…again. _

Ginny shook her head in an effort to get rid of her disconcerting thoughts. She wanted to forget about that time…that time in her third year when she had harboured a brief crush on Draco Malfoy. She had pleaded temporary insanity and resumed her pining after Harry. But now she had stopped pining after Harry …and her crush on Draco was returning.

_Merlin help her! She was in the master bedroom of the damn mansion by the lake! No more thinking about that prat! You don't want to shag the incredibly sexy, arrogant, callous ferret…and have cute little ferret babies with your hair and his eyes. Stop it! The ferret can go to hell! No more ferret thoughts! Damn you Andy!_

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"Oh dear!" Madame Pomfrey exclaimed as she tried to undo what had been done to Draco.

Instead of undoing the spell, her attempt had caused Draco's uniform to transform into a tight little black dress with a matching purse. She tried another spell which only caused him to grow huge breasts. Her third attempt grew his hair to shoulder length and her fourth put him in stiletto heels. Her fifth and last attempt caused Draco to swear in frustration.

"Dammit woman! What the-?" Draco swore as the girly sound of his voice reached his ears.

"Fuck! Just when I thought it couldn't get any bloody worse!" Draco swore, throwing his hands into the air.

"Mr. Malfoy! I ask that you not use such language. There's no need for such behaviour. Your…condition can be reversed." Madame Pomfrey reprimanded him.

"Not by you! You keep bollocksing it up! What kind of bloody nurse are you?" Draco yelled as he got a look at himself in a nearby mirror.

He was seething with fury. It was bad enough he had to look like Harry Potter, but a girly Harry Potter? Whoever did this was going to pay with their life…and he had a sneaking suspicion who the culprit was.

"Mr. Malfoy, I've been a nurse for many years and I assure you that I am quite competent. Your problem can be fixed, but it will take a while. So I suggest you go to class as your problem is not life threatening." Madame Pomfrey advised him.

"Bloody hell! You want me to go to class looking like this? Are you out of your bleeding mind? Have you been sneaking a few of the potions Pomfrey?" Draco ranted, becoming frantic at the prospect of going to class in such a state.

"Mr. Malfoy! Now I've taken all I can from you. Get to class this instant!" Madam Pomfrey ordered him, ushering him out of her domain.

"Wait! I can't go to class like this! I'll be the laughing stock of the whole school!" Draco protested.

"Good. You need a change. It's time that you are the butt of the joke…insight into how the other half lives. Good day Mr. Malfoy," Madame Pomfrey dismissed him with her terse reply.

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"Nice legs Malfoy!"

Draco growled as yet another catcall was directed his way. He had spent the day alternately hexing, glaring at, subtracting house points from and just ignoring his many crass mock admirers. He was at the end of his tether and was on the brink of a school massacre. He was teetering over the edge when he saw Andy merrily strolling down the corridor. He marched over to her (more like wobbled, he hadn't yet mastered the art of walking in heels) and dragged her into a nearby empty bathroom.

" New look? I think you took that whole put-yourself-in-the-other-person's-shoes thing a bit too far. Great shoes by the way, where'd you get them?" asked Andy with a mischievous gleam in her eyes, as she eyed a furious Draco.

"Cut the bullshit! Fix me!"

"I think you look fab... _Mallory_! Although…may be you should think about doing something with your hair and probably get contacts or something … otherwise you're fine,"

"I know you bloody did this! Now fix me! "

"If you insist…" she sighed and muttered a spell.

Draco rushed to a mirror to get a look at himself and growled.

"_Andy…_"

"What? Blue highlights a little too much? Maybe dirty blond instead?"

"_I'm going to kill you! _"

"Aah!" Andy screamed, dashing out of the bathroom with an enraged Draco hot on her tail like the hounds of hell.

"When I get my hands on you I'm going to tear you limb from limb Yankee bitch!"

"Eek! Help meeeee!"

"I'll snap your scrawny oof!" Draco threatened, falling flat on his face.

_Bloody shoes are a death trap! I've tripped so many bloody times I should be unconscious!_

Andy looked around to see a fallen Draco, and doubled over in laughter, so did every one else in the corridor. Draco growled and scrambled to his feet, resuming his pursuit of Andy.

"Oh shit! Momoof!" Andy cursed preparing to retreat, when she bumped into Professor McGonagall.

"_Miss Huntington…Mr. Malfoy…_" McGonagall said stonily. She was actually suppressing a laugh from the sight of Draco but she couldn't let the students know that.

"Hey there Minnie. _Mallory_ and I were just…y'know …playing a little dress up."

"It's _Professor McGonagall _to you Miss Huntington. Mr. Malfoy, come with me. Madame Pomfrey has found a solution to your…_problem_."

"Yes Professor." Draco mumbled, following McGonagall.

Andy grinned and stuck out her tongue at Draco as he followed McGonagall. Draco glared at her and motioned a slit throat to Andy. Andy made a face and flipped him the bird as he disappeared around the corner.

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Andy slipped past Madame Pomfrey and Professors McGonagall and Snape, who were conversing in hushed tones and made her way to Draco's bedside. He looked pale and defeated as he lay on the bed. To the onlooker, it seemed as if they spent the entire time staring at each other with a few comments interjected every now and again. But in reality, they were communicating via telepathy.

_"What do you want?"_

_"Just came to see how you were doing...Mallory."_

_"I feel like shit, thanks to the poison the so-called nurse shoved down my throat. Now you can leave."_

_"Aww Mal…I was just funning. Where's your sense of humour?"_

_"Tucked away in my stylish matching black purse."_

_" Touché. You deserved it though. "_

_"How, pray tell, did you arrive at that conclusion?"_

_"You're a bastard."_

_"I believe that's my name- Bastard Malfoy. Although those two words together would be tantamount to heresy, would they not?" _

_"True. But you're an extra-special bastard to Ginny."_

_"She's a Weasley. "_

_"Again, you're an extra-special bastard to Ginny. Y'know…if Ned were here he'd tell you that it's the classic playground bully syndrome. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy tortures girl due to some emotional handicap which prevents him from telling her…"_

_"That pompous know-it-all can shove his theories up his spectral arse! I can't believe you're siding with her. You've known her for a couple months and you've known me for over six bloody years!" _

_"Language.__ Besides, us girls have to stick together. Don't get your panties in a twist…pun intended. You're cranky…PMS perhaps?"_

"_Andy…_"

_"Besides, you have company…"_ she motioned to three occupied beds not far from Draco's.

Draco followed her line of vision and almost fell off his bed. There in the beds were three ridiculous looking students.

_"Crabbe, Goyle and Parkinson are here to keep you company."_

_"You got them too? Unlucky buggers!"_

"Oh Pansy…" she singsonged.

She turned towards Andy and barked at the sound of her name. Draco chuckled, feeling sorry for Pansy. Andy had made her look like an actual pug…she even panted like one.

_"I told her she was a pug-faced twit."_

_"Lemme guess…Crabbe and Goyle are arses?"_

"_Definitely.__ I couldn't decide which one… so I picked both."_ she smirked at the braying nefarious pair. They looked like donkeys with the exception of their cheeks, which ballooned to like someone's rear end.

_"What happened to Zabini?"_

_"Luna Lovegood."_

"Bloody hilarious! You're an evil little bitch aren't you?" he guffawed, almost falling off the bed.

_"Aww Dray…that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!" _Andy gushed.

_"Ouch! That bloody hurt!"_ Draco winced at the force of her projected thought, rubbing his temples.

"Sorry. Here. Have a little look-see." said Andy, handing him a mirror.

Draco cast her a suspicious glance and tentatively took the mirror from her. Cautiously, he peered at…_himself_. He was looking like himself again!

_You're a sight for sore eyes… I'd almost forgotten what a handsome devil you are! The female population rejoices and the male population weeps pathetically as my devilishly good looks grace the halls of Hogwarts once again. _

"You are _so_ conceited! You think too highly of yourself. I'm almost tempted to change you back." said Andy, shaking her head.

_"Not conceited…self-appreciative. Do it and I'll perform the killing curse."_

_"You wouldn't dare…"_

_"Try me."_

_"Ok, fine. But lighten up on Ginny will ya? Remember what Ned said…"_

"Huntington, it's best you leave now." said Draco.

"Okie-dokie! See ya around _Mallory_." Andy replied, sneaking back out of the room, but not before taunting the pug and the asses one more time.

_Ok…seed planted. Knowing Draco…his ego can't resist anything seen as a sign of weakness. From now on every time he sees Ginny, he'll be thinking about Ned's theory until eventually he'll be too confused to put up much of a fight. Now it's time for a little help. Tag! You're it Drew…._


	5. A Note From The Author

A Brief Word from Our Sponsors

constant stream of chatter taps mike

Me: H-Hi…I-I'm a…Denx a.k.a Anony-Bunny the um...author of Heir of Slytherin.

camera flashes blinks

Reporter: How's the story coming along?

Me: It's … developing. I'm still trying to work out a few kinks.

Reporter: Like the opening scene in chapter two and the cross-dressing incident?

laughs nervously

Me: Umm...yeah...about that…I was watching one of those detergent commercials when the idea struck.

Reporter: Any more crazy ideas in upcoming chapters?

Me: Well…one or two. Maybe they'll surface in the next chapter or so.

Reporter: How do the twins and Draco know each other?

Me: I hope to properly explain it in a chapter to come, but for now let's just say they've always been there for him.

Reporter: Who's the Heir of Slytherin? Is it Andy?

Me: Actually…the Heir of Slytherin is not one person but more. More than one of the characters can be considered 'Heirs of Slytherin' in their own way. But I will try to explain all this later.

Reporter: What's with the dream in the last chapter?

Me: About that…it's all connected to the whole 'Heir of Slytherin' idea and the hooking up of Draco and Ginny. I promise it has some relevance.

Reporter: What's with Ginny? First she's all depressed-feeling-left-out Ginny and then she's ready-to-damage-somebody Ginny and then she's insecure Ginny.

Me: The thing is… I'm aiming for a multi-faceted Ginny. I want to show her …humanness so to speak. Ginny's like a vortex of emotions, like any teen is I imagine. She's just trying to figure out exactly who she is – besides the youngest Weasley or the loser who opened the Chamber of Secrets or a lovesick puppy and I believe meeting the twins (especially Andy) and getting together with Draco is going to… stabilize her.

Reporter: Why did you make Ginny have a crush on Draco previously?

Me: That's because I imagined somewhere around that time she would have developed a closet rebellious streak that would attract her to Draco who is the antithesis of Harry and all that the Weasleys stand for. It would kinda be a way for her to thumb her nose at them, like saying "I don't care what you think. I'm not some porcelain doll."

Reporter: Will we be seeing more of Drew?

Me: Yeah…you will. I know Andy seems to be overshadowing Drew but she's a pivotal element in the story. She's the inspiration for the whole story in fact.

Reporter: Are Ginny and Draco going to get together soon? Maybe at the Halloween dance?

Me: I don't know really. It seems kind of sudden to put them together, but I was toying with the idea. Who knows? Well that's all the time I have folks. Maybe I'll be seeing you again?

Reporter: Glad to talk to you anytime Denx.

Me: Oh yeah…by the way, know a good beta? I need some help with my story. Any interested parties can email me at or .

end

**A/N: I'm working on the fifth chappy night and day. I'm trying to see if I can post chappies 5 and 6 by the end of the week if RL doesn't get in my way. **


	6. Things That Go Bump In the Night

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. I'm working on the next chapter. Here is the update as promised. **

Chapter Five

"I come bearing booze," said Drew, sitting down beside Draco.

"Peace offering?" asked Draco.

"Something like that. Total inebriation always fosters house unity," Drew replied with a wry grin.

" Right you are. The only way the houses will ever be unified is when everybody's too bloody sloshed to care!" Draco chuckled, helping himself to the bottle of whiskey.

"You Brits are just so warm and friendly…" Drew murmured, downing a shot of whiskey.

"Like happy hugging hedgehogs we are…" Draco added, taking another shot.

"I should warn you…_they_ sent me," said Drew.

"I know. They've got it in their bleeding heads to play matchmaker haven't they?" asked Draco.

"Affirmative. How'd you know?" Drew responded.

"Andy. When she visited me in the infirmary, she kept stressing about Ginny. She almost caught me with that playground bullshit…but I caught on," Draco explained.

"Gonna tell them that you know?"

"Nope. Let them sweat."

"Ok. But I still have to do my job," Drew informed him.

"Don't let me stop you," Draco responded.

"Ginny Weasley's a fox," Drew began.

"So I noticed," Draco deadpanned.

"I'd do her …if Isolde wouldn't castrate me,"

"You and the male population of Hogwarts. I believe a few females as well,"

"She's got great legs."

"The best in school."

"Do you see the knockers on her?"

"A plump, luscious pair, if I may say so."

"She's sexy when she's angry."

"Makes me wonder what it would be like if she put so much passion into sex…a veritable tigress that one."

"Stop wondering and find out. It'll be historic… years from now there'll be drinking songs about the guy who managed to get the Weasley princess from her maximum security tower."

"I've been looking for new entertainment – the _Three Stooges_ are starting to bore me. She'd make an interesting conquest. It would definitely piss off her git of a brother."

"And her five other brothers…two of whom are notorious terrors."

"Minor problem."

"Who's the major problem?"

"Weasley herself."

"By the way, her name is Virginia, preferably Ginny. She won't find_ Weasley _very romantic in conversation."

"I don't plan to do much talking."

"Well then…my work here is done."

"That it is."

"Dutch courage for the road ahead." said Drew, raising his glass.

"May we still be attached to our balls when this is all over." Draco added, clinking his glass with Drew's as they downed more whiskey.

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A very intoxicated Draco and Drew staggered into Hogwarts, alternately, guffawing, tripping and singing. Andy was on her way back to her room when the ruckus caught her attention. Upon investigation, she found her very drunken brother and best friend singing:

_Naughty Maud the Shrewsbury bawd_

_She'll steal yer purse an' tickle yer rod_

_And leave yer yellin' fer more by gawd!_

Andy shook her head as she eyed the drunken, singing pair. They were a hilarious sight to behold. She groaned and shook her head, fighting to maintain a straight face.

"Great. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb-As-Hell! Now how am I going to get you two back to your rooms?"

"Do not be apprehensive my sororal doppelganger."

"Don't worry? Do you know how much trouble you'll be in if you're discovered? This has detention written all over it…and Draco's a fricking prefect! Are you crazy?" Andy shrieked.

"No. Poor people are crazy, rich people are eccentric." Draco quipped.

" Now… calmmm down Andrea. The statush quo does not warrant such histrionics, but abtholute equaminity. " Drew chided.

"Calm down? You two are coming with me right now!" Andy commanded.

" I am declined…err disinclined to acquiesh to your request." said Draco.

"I conquer with my conrad. We are proficient in ovulating to our elastic missiles. Drew agreed.

_(I concur with my comrade. We are proficient in ambulating to our scholastic domiciles.)_

" I don't think so! You two are drunk as sk—" Andy replied, her remark cut off by a voice.

"What's going on here?" asked Harry.

"We were in the middle of our weekly book club tea discussing the literary shortcomings of Gilderoy Lockhart. I find his style to be a little too flamboyant for my taste. What's your take? "Andy drawled sardonically, shooting him a _what-the-hell-does-it-look-like_ look.

"Really? I find it has its own charm...with the heroics and all." Harry quipped.

"Ha ha smartass... Help me get them back to their rooms. "said Andy, flashing him an annoyed look.

" Back off Potter! Shay hello to my little hiccup fwend." Draco brandished his wand, aiming it at Harry.

"_Draco..._" Andy groaned.

"Now you… you have to ask yourself ' Am I feeling lucky?'. Well do ya? hiccup Huh? Do ya…punk?" asked Draco, swaying a little.

"Your fence deneamour only does you a disservice Draco. He means to offer assistance." said Drew.

_(Your tense demeanour only does you a disservice Draco. He means to offer assistance.)_

"I'm feeling bloody lucky Malfoy." Harry replied, brandishing his own wand.

"Stop it! Put the wands away and nobody will get hurt." said Andy, a dangerous tone to her voice.

"Frankly my dear… I don't give …a damn." Draco replied, doing his best stay upright as the room began to spin.

"We'd best tumour her Draco. I imagine the illustrative authorities will be here momentarily if we continue to doodle in the corridors at this nocturnal period. "said Drew.

_(We'd best humour her Draco. I imagine the administrative authorities will be here momentarily if we continue to dawdle in the corridors at this nocturnal period.)_

"I can't handle two drunks. I need you sober." Andy muttered, summoning two vials of sobering potion and handing them to the drunken pair.

" Blech! Would a little flavour be so bad?" Draco complained, looking at the empty vial with distaste.

"I'm working on flavoured chewable tablets. I'm thinking of calling it Don't-Drink-So-Much-Dumbass. What d'you think?" said Andy, smacking Draco and Drew in the head

"Catchy. Drunken assholes everywhere will worship at your altar." Drew replied, rubbing his head.

"Really? I hope they don't make any human sacrifices. D'you know how hard it is to get blood out?" Andy drawled.

"I find Tide with Bleach and a dollop of Shout is absolute magic." Drew quipped.

"Actually, I know this great spell…." Draco added.

"Shut up! Now let's get back to our rooms. McGonagall's probably on her way to investigate…hair falling freely, clothes disheveled…" said Andy.

"Dumbledore following…glasses askew, clothes also disheveled…" Drew continued.

"Royally brassed off because their little tryst was interrupted by drunken students. Now he'll have to wait for the next Hogsmeade weekend." Draco added.

"Until then he must content himself with the memories of the creative bedroom transfigurations she's done." said Andy.

"Y'know, for an old guy he has it made. I mean, here he has this wicked school with all these unknown magical stuff lurking around, he's like a Wizarding Yoda _and_ he's banging the Transfiguration teacher…" Drew commented.

"Who's also an animagus. Makes for plenty of excitement in their love life." Andy added.

"She can turn herself into anything he wants. His every fantasy could be fulfilled." said Draco.

"You're right." the twins chimed in.

"You people are depraved. How could you be thinking of such a thing?" said an outraged Harry.

"Aww c'mon Harry…are you telling me you've never wondered about those two?" asked Andy.

"No!"

"I admit old people sex is a hard concept to wrap one's mind around…" Andy began.

"Especially those two… they're nothing but mammals…" Drew added.

"So they do it like they do on the Discovery Channel." Draco finished.

Suddenly the three of them burst out laughing with a bewildered Harry looking on.

"Good one. An animagus and the Discovery Channel…what a hoot!" Andy remarked, sobering up.

"By the way, there's another verse to _Naughty Maud_…" said Drew to Draco.

"And it gets raunchier." commented Andy.

"How does it go?" asked Draco as they walked back to their rooms.

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Harry just couldn't understand what he had witnessed. It was actually possible that Draco Malfoy wasn't a complete asshole. He had noticed the easy camaraderie between Malfoy and the twins. It was almost as if they were friends… like he was with Ron and Hermione. But that couldn't be…Andy and Draco hated each other's guts. It was common knowledge in Hogwarts of their verbal combats.

"Oh yeah…if you breathe a word of this to anyone I'll freeze your appendages and smash them to bits." Andy remarked coolly as they parted ways.

"I'm very attached to my appendages thank you." said Harry.

"If you want to stay that way…keep quiet." Andy threw over her shoulder.

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"So…how'd it go?" Andy whispered as she leafed through a book.

"Great. He fell for it like a ton of bricks." Andrew whispered in reply.

"Good. Y'know, this is coming off easier than I expected." said Andy.

"And we had to do it this way because?" asked Drew.

" Draco likes to do things of his own volition. Now that he feels hooking up with Ginny is done at his leisure, he'll be more cooperative." Andy explained.

"You're an evil, manipulative little thing. I'm so glad you love me." Drew replied.

"You should worship the ground I walk on."

"Why did we have to meet in here?"

"Because you're helping me to look for the diary. That diary is the key to unlocking this mystery."

"And when we unlock this mystery? "

"We can get rid of him."


	7. Another Note From The Author

Public Service Announcement

Hi guys,

It's me, Denx. I just wanted to let you know that I'm finishing up Chapter Six and it will be posted shortly. However, I'll be busy with school for the next few weeks so updates are highly unlikely. Just hang in there and after June 8th I'll be all yours. Updates should be regular then.

Thanks for understanding,

Denx


	8. Just One of Those Days

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **I'm sorry that the update has taken so long. But don't worry; I'm back on the job now. I'm working night and day on the story. Updates should be more frequent now.

Chapter Six

"Who knew the whole bloody school would be snogging tonight? I wish they'd told me their bloody plans so we could've worked something out!" Ginny muttered as she walked to Gryffindor.

She was bone-weary and irritable from a full day of classes, helping Snape make potions and patrol duty. She couldn't wait to be asleep! As she walked past "The Place" as she liked to call it, she felt chills run down her spine. She let out a shaky breath and brushed aside her fears.

_Pull yourself together Weasley! It's been what… five years since the Chamber of Secrets? Get over it!_

Ginny quickly walked past the bathroom and on to Gryffindor, fighting to shake the feeling of Tom's presence. As soon as she reached Gryffindor, she quickly made her way to her room and fell into bed.

8 8 8 8

"Are you sure this is it?" Drew whispered.

"Definitely. It can't be any of the other books." Andy replied, running her fingers along the book's spine.

"Are you sure he said it was in the Charms section?" asked Drew.

"Yes! Now stop bugging me and let me figure out how this damn diary works!" Andy hissed, examining the diary's blank pages.

"You should've asked Mr. Cryptic that when he told you where the diary was." said Drew.

"That smug bastard wasn't going to tell us anything more. As it is, he's been generous with the info. Now we're supposed to be smart enough to figure this diary out. It's the only way we're going to get inside her head." Andy explained.

8 8 8 8

**_She didn't know what had wakened her, but her eyes flew open suddenly, with a true sense of alarm._**

**_"Ginny."_**

**_"What are you doing in here?" she demanded sharply. _**

**_He lunged at her, seizing her shoulders so quickly that she was given no chance to fly or fight back._**

**_"I'm here to take back what is mine!"_**

**_"Yours ! The Phoenix's Tear belongs to the Dragon and so do I!"_**

**_"You are rightfully MINE! Not his! I'm taking back what belongs to me!" _**

**_"You can't have me you bastard… I love the Dragon and I belong to HIM!""_**

**_"You whore!" _**

**_His fingers tore at her dress, exposing her breasts. He leered and grabbed one forcefully. She screamed, as loudly as she could, shoving away his hand, using all her strength against him. To her amazement, she managed to push him down to the floor. He fell with a plunking sound, and sprawled there. For a moment, he stayed flat, and then he pushed himself up to where he sat, and stared up at her, still stunned at her force of power, rage contorting his handsome features. _**

**_She had pushed him off a bed. That didn't mean she could fight him and win if he was determined on force._**

**_He, the Black Stag, was starting to rise._**

**_She turned and fled for the door, screaming again, shouting for help._**

**_She reached the door._**

**_The Black Stag's fingers threaded into her hair, jerking her back with such force that long strands tore away in his fingers…_**

**_And yet he held her firmly, still. _**

**_She shouted for help again. Screamed for her lover. Begging him to come back to her. Cursing him for leaving her. _**

**_His hand clamped so tightly over her mouth that, in a matter of minutes…_**

**_The room began to spin black as blurry images of her lover swirled around her head…_**

**_Dragon…_**

****

8 8 8 8

****

Ginny groaned as she walked to the Great Hall. Thanks to her very vivid recurring nightmare, she had been unable to sleep properly for the past few nights. Subsequently her eyes burned, her head was throbbing and her body was near limp from exhaustion. She felt like she had gone a few rounds with a Bludger.

"Ginny… how bad are you feeling?" asked Andy as they sat down to breakfast.

As Andy sat down, the Gryffindors shifted to accommodate her. As they sat down, quite a number of Gryffs greeted her and a few of the students from the other houses as well. Ginny noted with a mixture of amusement and slight jealousy at how easily Andy had ingratiated herself within Gryffindor (not just Gryffindor…but the whole school!). She was probably the most liked Slytherin in Hogwarts' history.

The only people who she didn't seem to click with were Malfoy and the Golden Trio. _Probably because she stole their thunder… egotistical, self-absorbed prats! _She couldn't believe she had included Ron in _Club I'm-So-Great_. It just showed how much she had grown. In the past she adored and perhaps hero-worshipped the Golden Trio but now…now she found that she actually…_resented_ the arseholes! And she felt proud that she could come to term with her feelings and own up to them. _Good on you Weasley! My my ….how we have blossomed! By the way…where are they? Probably off on another adventure that doesn't include poor little Ginny…_

"There's a very vigorous Quidditch match going on in my head. " Ginny replied, sipping a mug of steaming black coffee.

Since meeting the twins, she found she had a penchant for many things…caffeine being at the top of her Christmas list. She smiled as she recalled Andy's rant about _"that paedophiliac old coot that lures children on his lap with the promise of toys so he can cop a feel"_ called Santa Claus. One of Andy's endearing and amusing yet sometimes frustrating qualities, was her ability to dissect the seemingly mundane and rant about it…bringing to light bizarre points of view that you had been too sane to consider.

"Complete with shrieking fans?" asked Andy.

"And a bloody marching band!" Ginny added.

"Would there happen to be any scantily clad dancing girls accompanying said band?" asked Drew with a mock lecherous grin.

"I'll be sure to send them to your mind once Slytherin suffers a humiliating loss to Gryffindor." Ginny responded.

" Is house rivalry programmed into your DNA or something? Take this." said Andy, handing her a bright orange pill.

"What is this?" asked Ginny, eyeing the pill curiously.

" It's a little something I made… it's called _Forfeit_ or don't they do that in Quidditch? Once you take it the Quidditch match ends and the band goes away…" Andy replied.

"Nope. We never forfeit…nothing stops us from playing…unlike you delicate Yanks that allow a little ole raindrop to end the fun…" Ginny teased, downing the pill.

" We so do not let a _little ole raindrop end the fun_… Us _Yanks_ are made of tougher stuff. We can go as long as you can." Andy defended.

"The band's gone? The girls too?" Drew asked.

" Sorry mate… " said Ginny with a shrug.

" Oh man…." Drew groaned in mock disappointment, pouting and giving Ginny the puppy-dog look.

"If it makes you feel better…one of the girls did a lewd dance number for you before she left." Ginny mock consoled him.

" Did she strategically leave her number while doing some impossible gymnastic routine?" asked Drew with a mock hint of brightness.

" I believe she did…uhmm… let me see…555-FUCK…" Ginny replied.

" You two need help! I can't believe you're encouraging this Ginny!" Andy responded in mock exasperation, playfully elbowing her.

" 5…5…5…F…U…C…K… Got it!" said Drew, pretending to write it down.

"She's probably a phone sex operator who's looking for new clients y'know…" Andy remarked.

"Kinky." Drew replied.

" Hey there handsome…I've been waiting for you…" said Ginny in a mock husky voice.

" Really? What kind of panties do you have on?" asked Drew, wagging his eyebrows at Ginny.

" I'm…not wearing any…" Ginny replied, licking her lips and mock leering at Drew.

" Yeah baby!" Drew imitated Austin Powers.

" Ugh! Now I'll have to get like a whole mental day at the spa …I'll probably get the seaweed brain wrap or something" said Andy.

" Speaking of spas….want me to pamper you baby?" asked Ginny.

" Yeah…a massage would be nice." Drew replied.

"Want me to rub you down with some oil…my hands gliding all over your body…working out all those kinks…" Ginny leered.

" Mmm…and when you're done…I could work out a few of your kinks…" Drew returned with a mock lecherous grin.

" You guys are incorrigible! This is all my fault for suggesting the phone sex thing a-and flooding your mind with pop culture and all that is Muggle…bad Andy! "said Andy, slapping her hand and getting up to leave.

Andy noted with amusement that the whole school seemed to have tuned into their little conversation and quite a number of the guys had a …glossy look in their eye…as if they had died and gone to heaven.

"Ugh! This school is infested with pervs Gin! All the guys are totally getting off on the phone sex thing…AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO PAY FOR IT LIKE ALL THE OTHER PERVS! " Andy proclaimed, glaring at the blatant eavesdroppers.

8 8 8 8

Draco had been devising Quidditch strategies with his breakfast (since he had lost his appetite due to a nightmare about his gruesome murder on the previous night), when he picked up on the conversation between the Weaselette and the twins. At first it had been amusing, but then it took on an erotic air once Weasley mentioned her lack of underwear, which had sent the wheels in his head turning as he tried to figure out if she had been joking or if it was actually true. Then his mind had come up with images of her sans underwear massaging _him_.

**_"Ugh! This school is infested with pervs Gin! All the guys are totally getting off on the phone sex thing…AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO PAY FOR IT LIKE ALL THE OTHER PERVS! "_**

He quickly shook the images out of his head as he practically felt Andy smirk at him. _Damn!_ The barrier hadn't been strong enough! Somehow he had allowed that last image to slip through and now Andy would give him hell about it. _Merlin's teeth!_

" One hundred galleons if she'll throw in a lap dance!" Blaise called out jokingly.

Draco looked up from the sure-fire victory in his plate and glared at Blaise. He was tempted to growl and bare his teeth but restrained himself.

_Down boy!_ _She's not yours Dray…what are you going to do? Pee all over her to mark your territory__like a common mutt?_

Draco redirected his glare at Andy and mentally growled at her. She only flashed him a saccharine smile and batted her eyelashes.

"Do I hear two hundred? Two hundred galleons and on the night of the Halloween Dance you have the pleasure of Ginny's company and a lap dance…" Andy auctioned, looking around for any takers.

"What are you doing?" Ginny demanded sotto voce.

"Well… my mom always said if you can get paid to do something you enjoy...go for it. Besides…you don't want hand-outs… so here's your chance to _earn_ it…." Andy replied sotto voce, a smile still in place.

"As a whore? I can't believe you Andy!" Ginny hissed.

"Oh come off it! Why should we allow society to make us feel guilty about our sexuality? Stop suppressing it and embrace it. " Andy insisted.

_Embrace it my arse! Since she's so hopped up on sexuality she won't mind if I…_

" Ladies and gents, you can also have the pleasure of Ms. Huntington's company that night. Do I hear a hundred galleons?" Ginny joined Andy in the impromptu auction.

"Ginny…what are you doing? I don't need the money…" Andy mumbled.

"Who said the money's going to you? I enjoy fixing you up with strangers…why not get paid for it?" Ginny replied with an impish grin.

"_Slag."_

_"Tart."_

"Two hundred galleons." said Draco coolly, not looking up from his plate.

Everyone gasped at the sound of his offer. His offer in itself was shocking but the bored, unaffected tone was more shocking. They were expecting a smirk and perhaps a few snide comments but his unusual calm was… unnerving.

" Two hundred galleons, going once…twice…SOLD! to the sexy Mr. Draco Malfoy. We'll talk later to make arrangements." Andy announced with a triumphant grin and a wink.

Malfoy's offer completely floored Ginny. She was shocked, confused, weirdly delighted and suspicious all at once. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish's as she stared at Draco in bewilderment.

"I do hope that your conversation skills are better than this Weasley… if not, then other uses can be found for your mouth I suppose. I intend to get my money's worth." Draco drawled as he got up and left the Great Hall.

Ginny squeaked in shock and blinked rapidly. She slowly sat down as she tried to absorb what had happened, Andy's proposed auction immediately forgotten.

8 8 8 8

" Professor Dumbledore, you have to discipline that girl. She's wild and uncontrollable!" said Professor McGonagall.

" Calm down Minerva. Perhaps the child is a bit…spirited but I don't think she's wild and uncontrollable." Dumbledore replied, popping a lemon drop into his mouth.

"Spirited? You call hexing her own housemates, disrespecting Professor Trelawney and making her run around the school half-naked singing "Insane in the Membrane", and to top it all off… auctioning Ginny Weasley like a common strumpet is _spirited_? She needs to be disciplined! "McGonagall insisted.

" Come now Minerva…she hasn't injured anyone." Said Dumbledore.

"She's gradually corrupting Ginny Weasley. You've even allowed her to become the assistant Muggle Studies teacher! Merlin knows what she's teaching the children! She's potentially dangerous I tell you!" McGonagall continued.

" What do you think Severus? Is she a threat?" asked Dumbledore, turning to Snape.

Personally, he didn't mind Andrea's little antics. He couldn't stand Peeves or that insane woman _Professor_ Trelawney. As for the corruption of Ginny Weasley… he believed that Ginny Weasley was already a dark individual who just needed a little push. It was no wonder the Dark Lord was soobsessed with her.

" I see no harm." was all Snape replied.

"See Minerva? There's nothing to worry about." Dumbledore added.

" Merlin, you're being stubborn about this! You're almost as stubborn about this as you were about Kath-" McGonagall sighed in frustration.

The usual twinkle in Professor Dumbledore's eye dulled as he fixed his hardened gaze on Professor McGonagall. His jaw was rigid and his expression bordering on murderous.

"There's nothing to worry about Minerva. And I allowed her to be the assistant Muggle Studies teacher because the students must learn not to fear or resent Muggles. As a fellow student and their peer I believe she'd be better able to get through to them than a teacher could. I think _that_ would be a valuable asset considering the way things are going. I know what I'm doing...after all, I'm headmaster." Dumbledore said in a low, dangerous voice.

"Bloody hell Albus! It's happening all over again! You won't listen to me! Just like I warned you about Kath-" McGonagall yelled.

_Don't say it_. The look in Dumbledore's eyeswarned her.

"Why shouldn't I Albus? I shouldn't say her name because it actually makes you remember? Forces you to acknowledge your past bloody mistakes? I shouldn't say …" McGonagall yelled.

8 8 8 8

"I've unlocked the diary." Andy murmured as they hid in the Restricted Section of the library.

" What does it say Andy? Found anything we can use to get into her head yet?" Drew whispered.

" Nothing much. I'll let you know when the juicy stuff comes up." Andy replied, skimming through the pages.

" Good. Let's go before FrankenFilch discovers us." Drew cautioned her.

"Lead the way my good man." Andy replied, closing the diary and following behind him.

8 8 8 8

Harry frowned as heard the whisper of voices. _Who the hell is in the library besides me in the middle of the night?_ He carefully replaced the book he was reading and crept closer towards the sound of the voices. He peeked through the bookcases and barely managed to make out two people hunched over a book.

**_"…I've unlocked the diary." _**

**_"What does it say Andy? Found anything we can use to get into her head yet?"_**

_Andy? Who the bloody hell is Andy…those twins! The girl is Andy and the boy is …Drew! What are they doing here? And what diary are they…no…it couldn't be! No wonder they've been all chummy with Ginny! Voldemort's trying to get to Ginny again. _

**_"Good. Let's go before FrankenFilch discovers us."_**

Harry watched as Andy closed the diary and hid it in the folds of her robe and snuck out of the library behind her brother. As the twins left the library, Harry racked his brain for solutions.

_If they're working for Voldemort, then it makes sense why they were so friendly with Malfoy. But then why didn't Snape tell the Order? Perhaps Voldemort is beginning to suspect Snape so only Malfoy's father knows and he told Malfoy. But then why didn't Malfoy tell the Order? Is he a double agent for Voldemort? Or is he playing for both teams and sticking with the victor? Ugh! This is too much for my head. I'll leave the sleuthing up to Hermione…I'm better with the brawn. _


	9. You Think You Know

**A/N: **I realize that I may be tweaking things in the Potterverse a bit, but that's the beauty of fanfiction. So please don't kill me of things are not canon-regulated.

Chapter Seven

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this! How the hell did I get into this?" said Ginny as Andy fussed over her.

"Well… I believe it started with a Quidditch match…" Andy began with an impish grin.

"Oh shut up Andy! This is all your bloody fault!" Ginny hissed.

"My fault? I didn't hear your insistent protests to being auctioned. In fact, you offered me up as well." Andy reminded her.

"Whatever. I just wish he'd hurry up and bloody get this over with!" Ginny muttered.

"I don't see why you insist on wearing this…this…_thing_. Wasn't there something else you could've worn? Your Quidditch uniform perhaps? Even a huge trash bag over your entire body?" Andy grumbled as she put the finishing touches on Ginny.

"_No._ I think it's quite…flattering. Don't you?" said Ginny with a syrupy smile.

"To whom? A troll? Ginny if I looked like that I'd let my ass do the talking!" Andy quipped.

" Go see if he's here." said Ginny.

"Relax. Syd will tell us when he gets here." Andy replied.

"Syd? Who's that?" asked Ginny.

"Sydney Wagsworth. She's one of the First Years in my Muggle Studies class. Sweet little girl…a bit on the shy side. " Andy replied.

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." Andy called out.

The door slowly opened to reveal a short, brown-haired girl with big glasses who looked as forlorn and timid as ever. She reminded Ginny of herself in the First Year. The girl looked like she was about to jump out of her skin.

"Uhm…D-Draco M-Malfoy… here." she whispered, hanging her head.

"Thanks Syd. You're a darling for putting up with that ogre. I'll be sure to give him a piece of my mind." Andy replied, smiling at the girl.

"N-No! He…n-not…o-ogre…p-perfect gen-gentleman." Sydney objected with a stutter.

"Ok… I guess you're not big on the coherent sentences. We'll work on that. I'll take your word for it then…no verbal evisceration for Draco Malfoy the reformed ogre-turned-gentleman." Andy teased.

"O-Ok." Sydney replied, scurrying out of the room and closing the door behind her.

"Charming isn't she?" asked Andy.

"Positively delightful. Amazing that he's still alive. I wonder why Ron hasn't mutilated him yet." Ginny replied.

" Let's just say…Ron's a little caught up in the moment. Now let's go meet _Prince Grand-Pain-In-The-Ass_." said Andy, pulling her to her feet.

_More like caught up with Hermione in her bedroom…but who's really paying attention?_

8 8 8 8

"Ladies and gents, I proudly introduce to you… the lovely, breathtaking…Ginny Weasley…" Andy announced, grandly gesturing towards the staircase.

Draco turned towards the staircase and looked expectantly. Judging by the grin on Andy's face, the Weaselette must really be something. He could just imagine her … red hair falling in waves to frame her face, soulful pools of brown that he could lose himself in, a hot little number encasing her soft curves…_Snap out of it! You're bloody drooling. Control yourself man!_

Draco shook his head in an effort to chase away the images of an alluring Ginny. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

"Good evening Mr. Malfoy. Are you ready to have a good time?" said Ginny.

Her voice had an arousing quality to it that made him think of her lying on his bed in a black lace teddy, her hair fanned out across his pillow. . .

_Get a grip! You're lusting after a fucking Weasley like a mutt in heat! **Fucking**….**Weasley**…. don't think they should've gone together in the same sentence!_ _Since when did you get hot for the little Weasley? Since … **Andy**…She's connected to this somehow and when I find out I'm bloody going to wring her pretty little neck!_

He looked up and saw her, she was… grotesque…absolutely hideous!

"What the fuck? " Draco exclaimed.

"I know. She's something isn't she?" said Andy with a grin.

" What d'you think? You like?" asked Ginny with a smirk, smoothing her hair.

"_You've stolen my breath_." Draco deadpanned, struggling not to let his irritation show.

Ginny fought to maintain her composure as her chest threatened to explode with laughter. After days of racking her brain, she had finally come up with a costume for the Halloween dance. At Andy's insistence, she had decided to look every bit the breathtaking, stunning princess…Princess Fiona, that is. After watching the movie Shrek with Andy, she had decided to go as Princess Fiona the Ogre (with a few tweaks of course). It was Halloween after all.

" Glad to know. Well, we'd best be going now. " Ginny replied, descending the stairs to join Draco and Andy.

" You guys have a great time. Knock 'em dead Ginny!" Andy called out as Draco led her out of the common room.

"Don't worry. One look and they'll all be corpses by night's end." Draco muttered.

Ginny bit back a chuckle at Draco's comment as they left Gryffindor tower. She had to admit though, he was looking particularly sexy in his costume…almost good enough to eat. _Weasley…don't go there!_ She couldn't believe the kicks she was going to get out of this night. It was probably going to be her best and most memorable Halloween ever!

8 8 8 8

Draco had to give Ginny credit; she knew how to push his buttons. Andy had always said his vanity would be his undoing but he had ignored her babbling. But now he was beginning to see how it could. He was impeccably dressed in his Zorro costume (complete with sword sans trusty steed). He didn't know how Andy had managed to talk him into wearing it. But he had made sure to at least look impossibly handsome while wearing it… _and Ginny looked like Gollum's lost bride_. She was green and warty with a jumbo hook nose and funny looking antennae ears and thinning hair (more like scattered wisps of hair on her head). She was the poster girl for ugly. She _really_ put ugly on the map.

_But I'm not going to let her bloody well get to me. If I show my irritation I'll be doing exactly what she wants. She thinks she's going to make a mockery of me…not bloody likely. _

Ginny watched as Draco's stoic countenance did nothing to clue her in to his emotions. She didn't know if he was processing deep, intense thoughts or bloody catatonic! Suddenly, an eerie _"I've-got-something up my sleeve" _smile slowly crept across his face. Ginny frowned in a gesture of mixed curiosity and fear while she worried her bottom lip.

"Hello? Malfoy are you there?" asked Ginny, waving her hands in front of his face in an attempt to snap him out of his trance.

"Get out of my bloody face!" Draco snapped, batting her hands away as he curled his lip in disgust.

"Hmm…is that any way to treat your lovely date?" she pouted in mock hurt and disappointment as she batted her eyelashes.

"_Forgive me…I never usually associate with people…of your calibre. Higher standards and all that I'm afraid." _Draco drawled with an eye roll.

" Don't be so hard on yourself Malfoy. You can reach our standards within the next decade or so. We know you're not too quick on the uptake, so elevation might take a while…" Ginny replied in a patronizing tone, patting him on the head for good measure.

Suddenly, Draco blanched as he clutched his stomach in pain.

"What's wrong Draco?" she asked with a concerned look on her face.

His only reply was to fall to the floor and writhe around as he clenched his teeth. Ginny's eyes widened as she gasped in horror.

_Bloody hell! Something's wrong with him! I've got to get help! And I called him Draco! Something's really wrong!_

Before she could do anything, he gasped as his body stiffened. Ginny's heart began to race with fear as she bent her ear to his heart, checking to see if he was still alive. . . nothing. She quickly checked his pulse … also nothing. Her breathing increased and so did her rate as she began to panic.

"He's dead… Malfoy's dead. No… he can't be. He's too bloody mean to die! No! Get up you bloody bastard! Get up!" Ginny babbled in a mixture of shock and fear as she shook him.

All of a sudden, he began breathing and his colour began to return. But then his skin became green, his body enlarged and his clothes transformed as did his face. He was alive. He was …Shrek! Ginny gasped in shock at the transformation and then she collapsed in laughter.

"What's so funny Weasley?" asked Draco as he sat up, watching her convulse with laughter.

"You…You're alive…" she replied as she quaked with laughter, tears streaming down her face.

"My being alive is wrong? The majority of the Hogwarts female population begs to differ." Draco quipped.

"Not now they do." Ginny responded, laughing even more.

"What's so bloody funny Weasel?" Draco snapped, irritated by her laughter.

" You…your face…so bloody funny…" Ginny giggled as she calmed down, wiping away the tears.

"What?" asked Draco.

"Look at yourself." said Ginny, handing him a mirror.

_Where the hell did that come from? Do girls have some kind of invisible pocket on everything they wear? What the fuck?_

Draco's eyes widened as he noted his ghastly transformation. He was…ugly! He looked like Ginny's ideal counterpart!

_Aah! How the fuck did this….Andy! I'm going to kill her! That girl is going to suffer a long, torturous death at my bare hands! _

"Aww…isn't that sweet? She didn't want you to feel left out. So she made you the Shrek to my Princess Fiona. But I'll tell you, I didn't go through all of what you did." said Ginny.

"You didn't?" asked Draco.

"No. No dramatic pseudo-death for me. Just a spell, a little nausea, a few tingles and presto change-o Ginny!" Ginny explained.

"So she just wanted to get her jollies then?" Draco responded.

"I guess. I mean it _is_ Halloween. This is the trick and the treat….well…" said Ginny, hanging her head at the end.

"My lap dance?" Draco supplied with a raised eyebrow.

"I was hoping you'd forgotten about that." Ginny murmured.

"Why? It's going to be the best part." Draco replied with a smirk.

"Pig." Ginny muttered.

"I believe it's ….ogre." he replied standing up and helping her to her feet.

"Ok, Malfoy. Let's call a truce. For tonight you're not Draco Malfoy and I'm not Ginny Weasley. Tonight, we're Shrek and Princess Fiona. How about it?" Ginny proposed, holding out her hand.

"Agreed." Draco replied darkly, shaking her hand.

8 8 8 8

Andy smiled knowingly as she watched the pair from across the room. She couldn't have planned it better. Even though there had been a glitch, things had still worked out and she had used the glitch to her advantage. Ginny Weasley was a tougher nut to crack than she thought but no one could ever match Andy in the stubborn department.

Andy had wanted to throttle her but the costume had achieved the desired effect – Draco was stunned, not breathing … and pissed as hell. So Andy had done damage control by transforming Draco into Shrek; taking the sting out of Ginny's little stunt and saving Draco from utter humiliation. Ginny had pouted and stuck her tongue out at Andy behind Draco's back. Andy had smirked at Ginny, giddy with the knowledge of what lay ahead.

So far they seemed to be having a good time (despite the many stares).

_Draco you're always the centre of attention, even when you're a monster. _

They were laughing, talking and occasionally dancing. One could never have guessed them to be "enemies". Since it seemed like they had no intent of killing each other (at least for the night) and Ron wasn't going to surface anytime soon, maybe she could leave. Satisfied with the night's events so far, she took a quick look around the room and slipped out of the Great Hall.

8 8 8 8

Harry watched her as she watched the monstrous pair. No matter what she did, her eyes never left the couple. Not when her eyes sparkled with laughter at something some poncey Hufflepuff bloke said or even when she stood by herself slowly sipping her drink, licking away the faint traces of it from her lips as if it were liquid ambrosia …

_What the hell is happening to me? I'm looking at her like she's … going to look perfect on my pillow instead of the slimy Death Eater that she is! Calm down mate and get back to the business at hand …_

Harry cleared his head of all carnal thoughts and refocused his attention on Andy … who was slipping out of the Great Hall. Harry quickly followed her, careful not to alert her to his presence. Even though his strides were longer than hers, he had difficulty keeping up with her.

_The girl moves faster than a Cornish pixie! _

Out of the blue, she stopped abruptly and spun around. She rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips, drawing his attention to her belly chain. As if her belly dancer costume wasn't enough, she had to wear a belly chain that drew him to the exposed skin of her belly that gave him thoughts of exposing skin elsewhere on her body.

" Give it up Potter. I know you're here. I can _feel_ you." she said, rolling her eyes once more.

_Maybe she'll let this go and continue if I stay hidden._

" Don't think you're gonna wait me out Potter. I'll just find you myself. Last chance Potter... " she warned him.

_I'd like to see you try._

"I warned you_. Tire el velo._" she replied with a wave of her hand, effectively yanking him from under the protection of his invisibility cloak.

"Bloody hell!" Harry swore as she threw him against a wall.

"Neat trick huh? Picked it up from a rogue gypsy back in Spain. Can't say I didn't warn you." she responded.

" I think you broke something woman!" said Harry, rubbing his lower back.

" One little tango with me and you're broken? You're such a baby!" Andy remarked, walking over to him.

She batted his hand away and examined him, noting all his sore spots. Satisfied with herself, she put her hands on him and murmured a healing spell. Immediately Harry's pain went away leaving an amazed Harry.

"Wow! It's quicker and less painful than when Madame Pomfrey does it and you didn't even use any awful potions … you didn't use your wand either… _you didn't use your wand_…" he murmured.

"So I didn't. I trust you can keep that to yourself as well Potter. That's now two things you never saw. I may have to kill you soon if you continue _never seeing things_." she remarked nonchalantly.

"At least wait till Quidditch season is over. Then you can kill me before N.E.W.Ts and I can die happy." Harry quipped.

"Duly noted. However, I kindly ask that you leave me alone. You've been treating me like a predator waiting to devour its prey… and not even in the good, sexual way either." Andy replied.

"So… you want me to look at you in a sexual way?" he asked.

"Not just looking…" she replied with a flirtatious smile and a saucy wink.

_So seducing Harry Potter wasn't in the game plan, but I have to distract him somehow. Besides, this is a welcome distraction that everyone benefits from. I keep him out of our hair and Ginny's and I get male companionship while at Hogwarts. I always make a rainbow in the rain! Ooh! That sounded so fluffy and inspirational. Maybe I should sing some upbeat, Sound of Music-esque ditty about never giving up and turning things around. Note to self: An Andy Unplugged concert is so in the works later! Who knows? Maybe I can sell the rights to Sesame Street or some other kiddie program! Andy… stay with me!_

" Let's leave all the innuendo and dirty talk for later. Maybe we'll even get to the inappropriate touching. But for now, you're going to help me." said Andy.

"With?" asked Harry.

"Scaring the daylights out of the First Years." Andy replied.

"What?" asked Harry.

"After much arm-twisting and puppy-dog pouting I managed to get permission for the Howl-oween Scarefest and they even let me use the DADA classroom. I'm showing scary movies _and _throwing a surprise party for one of my students whose birthday is today. I'm in charge of setting the place up and Drew is the babysitter. I figure that these kids need some excitement because from what I've heard of the so-called Halloween celebration here, it's crap. Halloween the muggle way is so much better- scaring children senseless and emotionally scarring them to create phobic adults… now _that's_ a Halloween celebration!" Andy explained.

"Oh. Sounds … oddly thoughtful." Harry replied.

" I'm full of surprises. But enough chitchat. You go to the kitchen and get the food. Just tell them Ms. Allie sent you." Andy instructed him.

"Ms. Allie?" he echoed.

"Long story. Case of mistaken identity I suppose. Now go." Andy replied.

"Ok. To the kitchen it is." he obeyed, heading for the kitchen.

"Wait. You forgot something." said Andy.

"What?" asked Harry as he stopped.

She picked up his invisibility cloak and grinned at him.

"Oh. Thanks." Harry took it from her.

"That's not what I was talking about." Andy remarked saucily, kissing him soundly.

The kiss caught him off guard but he wasn't dazed for long. He splayed one hand at the base of her spine, his thumb rubbing lazy circles as he held her close and sucked her bottom lip into his mouth. He licked and nibbled until she made a soft mewling sound and her hands slid around his neck.

Her body pressed into his as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding into her mouth. He could feel her, so alive, in his possession of her mouth. Her pulse, the vibration of her throaty murmurs, the taste of her; the silk of her mouth as his tongue played with hers, the breath she shared with him.

_Whoa baby! Boy Wonder sure can kiss! It looks like I'm getting more than I expected. But we can't do this now… party to set up, remember?_

Andy reluctantly broke the kiss and peeled herself off Harry. Harry blinked as he focused his slightly blurry sights on grinning Andy. She straightened his askew glasses and his top hat.

"That was some trick Houdini. Are you gonna make a rabbit pop out later?" she said with a lecherous grin, referring to his magician costume among other things.

"You'll be amazed by all the things I can make pop out. " Harry leered, returning the grin.

"I can't wait." She responded as she walked away, her hips swaying with every step.

What_ is wrong with you? You've been lusting after her since that night in the corridors! How are you supposed to find out what she's up to if you're horny like a rutting beast? Simple. Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer. What if you get too close? Never… and how the hell did I wind up helping her? I'll never know…_

_8 8 8 8_

Ginny was officially on Cloud Nine. It seemed that Malfoy wasn't an absolute prat once he didn't have to be _Draco Malfoy_. They had called a truce and for the night Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy didn't exist … only Princess Fiona and Shrek.

He seemed more…_human_ to her as Shrek than as Draco Malfoy. She found out that he had a sweet tooth and a weakness for kittens. She had giggled about the kitten tidbit and he had scowled – making her laugh even more. She had told him about her weakness for chocolate-covered frogs and the muggle poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

Somehow they had left the Great Hall and were now strolling towards the lake. It was the best date she had ever been on. The only awkward silence had been immediately post-truce but it had quickly passed.

"Isn't it beautiful?" asked Ginny as she looked at the reflection of the night sky in the lake.

"What?" asked Draco.

"The lake… the stars…" she replied, turning to him.

In that moment their gazes met and Ginny's breath caught in her throat. Her heart hammered against her chest as his eyes glittered with a strange emotion (relative to when he looked at her) … she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Suddenly, as if by magnetism, they drew close to each other – within kissing distance.

_What am I doing? Am I crazy? I can't possibly be about to kiss Malfoy! Why not? Because he's Malfoy that's why. Not for tonight he is. Plus, he's Shrek a-and I'm Fiona… the two least romantic characters for us to be snogging as! You've got a point there…_

She blinked and pulled away, effectively breaking the spell. She ducked her head in embarrassment and looked at the very interesting blades of grass illuminated by the moon.

"Draco… I … _it was easier in my head_…" said Ginny with a nervous chuckle.

"You what?" he asked.

"I … wantustostopfightingandbefriendsmaybeevenmore." She responded in a single breath.

"What ?" asked Draco in confusion.

"I… want us to be friends. Tonight I've seen a completely new side of you and despite what everyone else thinks, I don't think you're evil. I also don't think you're entirely good either. But I don't care." Ginny clarified.

"Isn't that dangerous? You're not sure if I'm an evil bastard or Potter's bloody rival for sainthood. I could swing either way or I might just be a double-crossing, slimy git." Draco challenged.

"I'll take my chances. I've dealt with a double-crossing slimy git before. Plus, there's a bat-bogey hex with your name all over it." she replied.

"Y'know, the bat-bogey hex threat is getting a little old Weasley. I've been meaning to tell you. Have you nothing better?" he teased.

"As a matter of fact, I recently perfected a hex that covers your penis in boils before it shrivels up and falls off." she informed him with a smirk.

Draco made a face and mock adjusted himself in reassurance before replying, "Still there. Y'know, the bat-bogey hex has never struck so much fear in my heart as it does now."

"Glad to know I haven't lost my touch. So… we're friends then?" said Ginny.

"No." he replied coolly.

"Why not? So this whole night _and_ the lap dance to come….for nothing?" asked Ginny in outrage.

" You wouldn't give me a lap dance for friendship. You'd do it for hours of mind-blowing sex with me. "

"Friends with benefits then?"

" Now you're talking Weasley. "

"Why?"

"Why what?

"Why are you suddenly interested in me? A _lowly_ Weasley?"

" You get suspicious _now_? _Now_ after trying to jump me a few minutes ago but you were too chicken to do it _and_ insinuating about being my fuck friend Ms. Friends-And-Maybe-Even-More? _Now_? This is rich!"

"So you did hear me! You just wanted to torture me you bloody arrogant sonofabitch! And I did not try to jump you! "

" Yet you don't deny the fuck friend part."

"Grr! You're bloody infuriating Malfoy! What the hell do you want with me? Is it part of some evil plan? "

" Evil plan? What about '_I don't think you're evil'_? What happened to that?"

"Just answer my goddamn question!"

"Fine. I'll tell you! We're both sexually attracted to each other. I want you and you want me (who wouldn't?). I'm bored and in need of a challenging sexual conquest and you're a feisty, desirable, _untouched_ young woman with an arse that won't quit and six overprotective oafish brothers. You get the best sex you'll ever have in your pathetic life and I get to fuck the Weasley princess! Satisfied?"

"Bastard!" she slapped him soundly.

"Bloody hell! I should kill you for that! It'd better not leave a mark."

Normally, were it another guy, she would have written him off as an insensitive, crass pillock, but Draco Malfoy was not a normal case. She knew that he was just reverting to his boorish ways as a defence mechanism. Sure the prospect of deflowering her was a bonus, but he wanted her for more. She could see it in his eyes the moment those venomous words spewed from his mouth.

"Oh shut it! Firstly, you don't ever talk to me like that again. Secondly, don't call me Weasel or any other hackneyed insulting names. Call me Ginny or Virginia. Thirdly, you better make good on your promise about the best sex ever." she told him.

"I'll call you Virginia. Everyone else calls you Ginny. _I'm not everyone else._"

"_No you're not_. But I don't think I'll be calling you Draco. No…I'll call you some nauseating endearment like Shnookums or Honey Buns or Sugar Lips. I can't quite decide which suits you best."

" I prefer Well-Hung- With-Incredible-Stamina Slytherin Sex God."

"I believe that was the Mad for Malfoy Fan Club's name for you last month."

"You're joking."

"I wish I were. But, sadly, some dumb females with absolutely no life whatsoever have dedicated their time to worshipping you."

"I seem to remember you being Potter's head groupie."

"Don't ever mention that again. I was young and incredibly stupid. I've seen the error of my ways."

"Thank Merlin you've come to your senses. I'd almost given up hope."

"You had hopes for me?"

"Yes. I figured you wouldn't drool after Potter for long. You seemed to be the only Gryffindor with a touch of the Slytherin sensibility. "

"Somewhere in there lies a backhanded compliment. Thank you. Now let's get back to the school before anything crazier happens."

"You're right. After all, the freaks come out at night."

"And somewhere in there is sexual innuendo referring to kinky sex."

"Actually, there isn't. But only a freak like you would think there was. Thus proving my point - the freaks come out at night. By the way, what about my lap dance?"

"_Now_ who's the freak?"

8 8 8 8

Harry had a hard time concentrating on the morbidly fascinating display of blood and guts before him on the screen as he was being distracted by Andy's nearness and warmth. Somehow she had become ensconced in his arms citing the need to feel safe in the comfort of his strong, manly arms. He suspected that she wasn't scared at all but he wasn't about to have her warm body cease pressing up against him. Somewhere during their encounter in the corridor and now, the reasons for his being with her became blurry. He wasn't entirely sure if it was for the greater good of the Wizarding world or for the good of his lacklustre sex life. For whatever reason, he was with a beautiful, sensual nymph who was going to make his last year at Hogwarts very interesting.

" It looks we're done for the night." she whispered, motioning to the sleeping forms on the floor and the ones drifting off to sleep.

"I guess we are. Let's get them back to their dorms." he replied.

"I _really_ don't want to move now. But, alas, they can't stay here. So return them we shall." she reluctantly agreed.

"We can always come back." he suggested.

"By then the magic will be gone. This is the perfect moment for senseless snogging and groping. After all, I did promise you dirty talk and inappropriate touching." she explained.

"Well then, _let's not waste it_." he replied, capturing her lips with his.

_I'm supposed to be the forward one here! He can't just take charge! Ooh…but he does this thing with his tongue… Houston, we have a problem! _


	10. But You Have No Idea

**A/N: Sorry I've been gone so long. I hope you don't think that I deserted you. I'm back again and working on the story. I just had a bit of a dry spell is all. Now the ideas are flooding my head….I even have a sequel in my mind! (That is, if this story gets a good reception). Thank you to all the faithful readers who have stuck with the story so far. Happy Holidays y'all! WARNING: THIS Has NOT BEEN BETA'ED!**

Chapter Eight

When Andy had suggested _'slipping into something more comfortable' _; he had visions of wisps and lace. He had never imagined that she would be completely…fully… attired in Quidditch gear. He chuckled in spite of his disappointment. _Trust Andy to do the unexpected!_

"You won't have that grin on your face once I catch the Snitch!" said Andy.

"Is that so?" asked Harry, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

"Damn skippy! We both know I'm the better Seeker." Andy challenged, releasing the Golden Snitch.

"Pride goes before a fall." He warned.

"Hang on tight then. You're gonna take a major nosedive," Andy quipped, zipping into the air.

"On the contrary, I believe you'll find my bed cushions you from the impact quite nicely," Harry retorted, joining her in the air.

"I have no intention of falling tonight… not to the ground and especially not into your bed," Andy declared, suddenly taking a sharp dive to chase the Snitch.

8 8 8

Ginny struggled to control her nerves as they walked through the castle. Her mind kept worrying about the pending lap dance. The few practice sessions had been one thing but the reality of it was absolutely terrifying! For one thing, Andy wouldn't be there to coach her through it and another, Drew was a very supportive, understanding friend that was not the "Slytherin Sex God" or "Snake Charmer" and among others, "Father Of My Babies" ! His reputation preceded him and after all her 'you've- met –your-match' theatrics, she didn't want to be a big letdown and give him further ammunition for Weasley bashing.

_Merlin! How did I get myself into this? I'm too impulsive at times. Damn my Weasley sense of pride! This will be worse humiliation than the Chamber of Secrets! _

Somehow Ginny couldn't rationalize how being possessed by the Dark Lord and harming people paled in comparison to a botched lap dance but it just did. Of late, her sense of rationality had gone completely haywire. Draco Malfoy was somehow screwing up her sense of direction – her emotional and moral compass were in fragments. The strange thing was that he managed to do it in one night when it took the all powerful Lord Voldemort nearly a year!

_What's happening to you Weasley? A complete nutter is what you are?_

Draco watched Ginny's emotions play across her face as they walked. They had fallen into comfortable silence and Ginny's mind had wandered. He could see that she was nervous about the lap dance and relished it. Of all Andy's antics, this was the only enjoyable one. Andy's neck was saved – until she came up with her next infuriating scheme.

" Having second thoughts Weasley?" he asked with a smug look.

" No. You're going to get your dance," she replied with a slight catch in her voice.

"Come now Weasley. You're obviously dreading the lap dance,"

Just then a surge of confidence coursed through her and she lightly shoved Draco against the wall. Her heated gaze bore intently into his as her hands pinned him to the wall.

"_Sensus increscere,_" Ginny whispered in his ear.

Draco fought to restrain all reaction as her warm breath tickled his ear. As the last syllable of the spell left her lips, he immediately felt his limbs undergo paralysis and his vision blurred. On the other hand, every nerve in his body tingled with awareness as his heightened senses drank in his environment… and their transformed state. He was back to his old Zorro self and she was in his black silk pyjama shirt and nothing else with her hair tousled. The image of her hair and his shirt hanging loosely from her frame to expose the smooth skin of her shoulder made him think of her after having days of great sex with him. She looked incredibly and thoroughly…._shagged_.

"What's the big idea Red?" he asked.

Ginny giggled in reply and pressed her backside against him, resting her head in the crook of his neck. Her hair tickled his nose as he inhaled the scent of strawberries. Her hands trailed along his sides as she slowly sank to the floor, rubbing her body against his. Draco sucked in his breath as the sensations coursed through his body. Ginny reversed the motion and Draco bit his lip as her bum settled on his groin.

" Do you know where my favourite place is?" asked Ginny.

"I'm sure you're going to tell me," Draco muttered.

"By the ocean. When I was little my parents used to take us there and I would sit on the shore and watch the waves roll in and roll back out," she began, running her hands along his thighs.

" I especially loved being in the water. I loved the feeling of the waves against my body – just swaying…" she went on, her hips undulating against his groin as she continued to caress his thighs.

"Made me feel free…to do anything…" she finished, turning to face him.

She drew close to him, threading her fingers through his and looked into his eyes. She could feel his breath upon her face as their lips were a mere whisper apart.

"Tell me, Mr. Malfoy. Have you ever just wanted to be free? To just do what you really wanted to do…**_who_** you really wanted to do?" asked Ginny, slowly lowering her mouth to his.

Draco could feel every nerve in his body thrumming in anticipation of Ginny's kiss. He was going to go insane if she didn't kiss him and end the exquisite torture. He was never one for masochism, but he was beginning to understand its odd…appeal.

" Alas, we can't always have our way. _Shame_…" she trailed off, walking away from him and disappearing around the corner.

8 8 8

" Who's the better Seeker?" asked Harry as he grinned triumphantly, releasing the Snitch.

" I am." Andy replied.

" _Says the one holding the Snitch_," came Harry's sardonic response.

"Do you believe that turnabout is fair play?" asked Andy.

"Yes." Harry answered.

"Good. _Game on…_" said Andy with a smirk.

"Huh?" said Harry with a bemused brow raise.

"Look behind you!" Andy called out as she sped past him.

Harry turned around to see the Golden Snitch mutate and divide. Instead of being a shiny, winged ball it was now two rugged, fierce-looking dragons with golden fangs. Harry gasped as one chased him and the other Andy, unleashing streams of fire at them.

"You truly aren't a great Seeker unless _you've_ been chased by the Golden Snitch! Anyone can catch but a real Seeker never gets caught!" Andy declared, laughing as she looped through the air.

Harry was having a hard time eluding the fire-breathing Snitch. He hadn't really known the speed of the Snitch until it was chasing him. Andy was full of surprises. She just kept doing the unexpected. He never knew if she was up or down…she always seemed to be going in a million directions. Harry looked around in search of Andy but couldn't find her.

"Andy! Where are you?" Harry bellowed into the wind.

"Up here!" came her reply.

Harry looked up to see Andy as she hung upside down from her broom and caught her Snitch. The impact of the Snitch flying into her hands knocked her off her broom and sent her hurtling to the ground.

"Andy!" Harry shouted, diving after her.

Andy laughed as she fell through the air, enjoying the feel of wind in her hair. After a few moments of enjoyment, she put her fingers to her lips and whistled for her broom. Immediately her broom flew in front of her and she grabbed on to it. Then she swung one leg over the broom and then the other as she got into an upright position. She managed to turn the broom upward mere inches before it could plummet into the ground.

"Woohoo!" Andy whooped for joy, laughing as she did a series of loops in the air.

Harry halted abruptly as he watched Andy's incredible self-rescue. Unfortunately, that put him in the line of the Snitch's fire and he was completely singed. Harry coughed as he inhaled smoke. Andy collapsed into a fit of laughter as she watched the Snitch barbecue Harry and re-transform into its old self and give Harry a kiss.

"It's _not_ bloody funny! I thought you were going to break your neck for sure!" said Harry as he took out his wand and repaired the damage.

"That's sweet. But I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself. I'm not one of those 'damsel-in-distress' types. I don't wait on a white knight to come and save me. Ravish me perhaps…but no rescue necessary. I get myself into these situations and I can get myself out." Andy explained.

"And I was really looking forward to you kissing me and becoming my love slave in gratitude." Harry replied with a reluctant grin.

"You really need to do something about that 'Saviour-of –the-World' complex. Saviours usually end up dying for a bunch of ungrateful assholes." said Andy as she laughed even harder.

" Have your fun now but I'll have the last bloody laugh!" Harry declared.

Andy held her sides as she doubled over. Suddenly, she gasped and fell off her broom. Harry laughed and yelled, "You can rescue yourself….I get it!"

But Andy remained motionless as she fell. Harry furrowed his brow in an anxious frown as he wondered whether she was joking or not. Something in his gut told him she wasn't and he rushed after her. As she was about to hit the ground, he swooped down and quickly caught her. He flew over to the Gryffindor stand and gently set her down.

"Andy…" said Harry, brushing her hair and gently shaking her.

Her head lolled and she jerked. Suddenly her body began to convulse as her nose and eyes bled.

"Bloody hell! This is definitely not good. I've got to get her some help." Harry muttered as he scooped her up into his arms and got on to his broom.

8 8 8

As Ginny's spell finally wore off and Draco's limbs regained feeling, he cursed Ginny a thousand times for her little stunt. He should've known that she wouldn't give in to him without a fight. The funny thing was, he was pretty sure that the fight had not yet begun and he was being thrown for a loop already.

_How the hell can she have such an effect on me? How did I manage to be immune to her? I've been with far more experienced women who had to jump through hoops to get me like this and all she does is tell me about a childhood memory! She didn't even kiss me for Merlin's sake! I'm in the fucking twilight zone!_

As he debated internally, Draco was rocked by the feeling of a wrecking ball slamming into his chest at light speed. He winced and struggled to maintain his balance.

_What the hell? What's going on...? The fun just never ends! Couldn't it have waited a day?_

Draco growled and uttered a few choice words as he ran to the dungeon. Upon entering the dungeon, he found Drew bleeding and his hands were lacerated. Draco swore and rushed to him. While he checked Drew's breathing surveyed the scene before him. Lying beside Drew was the damned diary with a few of its leaves loose. He gathered up the book and loose leaves and teleported Drew back to his room.

"_If it's not one twin it's the other! Don't you two know no to mess with dark magic? Luckily, I'm more experienced with the dark side than you two or I'd be like you. Rookies!" _Draco muttered as he tended to Drew.

8 8 8

"What happened?" asked Dumbledore as he and Snape stood over Andy's unconscious form.

"We were… playing Quidditch when she just fell off her broom and started to bleed." Harry explained.

" You were both playing Quidditch? At this time of night? One would think that as a Prefect you would appreciate the reasoning behind student curfews. " Snape responded, levelling a disdainful look at Harry and then Andy.

Dumbledore remained silent as he looked at Andy. This reminded him of the night Moaning Myrtle had died. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was a connection to the Dark Lord somehow…


	11. Strangers In The Night

**A/N: Thank you to all those who have been reading and reviewing so far. I promise that I will try to make updates more frequent and speed up the pace of the story. I know you want to see all the D/G action and I promise you that it is coming!**

**WARNING: This chappy has a little action from the dark side. Reader beware!**

CHAPTER NINE

**_Many moons ago (actually six years to be exact…but that just kills the mood. Anyway, many moons ago…)_**

"_Oh Great Spirit I call upon you and the spirits of my ancestors…" said the girl dancing around the bonfire as the boy thumped on the drum rhythmically and chanted a weird mantra. _

"_Show me what is to be…" she continued, sprinkling some powder-like substance into the fire, causing an explosion of silvery-white flames. _

_Suddenly, she stood still and stared catatonically into the distance as she walked into the freezing waters of the ocean. Then she began swaying eerily among the waves, her form swathed in moonlight, making her look like a bewitching mermaid. After what seemed like decades, she slowly turned around and extended her hands in invitation and in an eerie tone of voice said, "Come..."_

"_**I've got to get the hell out of here. She's obviously off her rocker."** He thought to himself as he watched the scene unfold before him. As he turned to leave he was confronted by a big white wolf a few feet from him, blocking his escape. The wolf was not growling or displaying any fierceness. It just stood there looking at him, giving him a silent warning with its eyes that it would be in his best interest to go to the girl. He gulped and weighed his options for an unscathed escape and decided that the wolf had not been fierce in its request so the least he could do was hear him out…._

_He tentatively walked toward her and kept his eye on the wolf, careful to note how he could possibly escape in an unguarded moment. As he walked towards her, she came out of the water to meet him. As they came to a halt in front of each other, they surveyed each other. Suddenly, she launched herself at him and he threw his hands in front of him and yelled in a pathetic attempt to shield himself from her. She only chuckled and embraced him tightly. _

_After a few seconds, she released him and said, " Andrea Allyson-Katherine Huntington. Call me Andy."_

"_Draco Edward-Philippe Malfoy. Draco." He replied, eyeing her suspiciously. _

"_Andrew Foxworth Huntington. Drew." added the boy with the drum as he approached from behind. _

"_What the bloody hell is going on?" asked Draco as he frowned at the grinning pair. _

"_Well, we're the Huntington twins. We're your neighbours. We're staying with our aunt Bronnie at the beach house by the rocks." She explained, pointing to a decrepit plantation-style blue house on yonder rocks. _

"_I thought it was abandoned. No one's ever been there in decades." said Draco. _

"_Well, that's going to change. Aunt Bronnie decided to fix it up every summer that we're here. So we'll be seeing you every summer -- if you're here." she responded with a thoughtful tilt of her head. _

"_You will. My family's been coming here since before I was born. But you still haven't explained what happened just now." Draco continued. _

"_Oh! That… the thing is – " Andy began, abruptly cut off by Drew._

"_She's a drama queen + part Irish…no straight answers to be found there. Cliff Notes version: Madame Tallulah over here has visions, and she saw the three of us having some past connection. So she decided to pester the spirits about it until they brought you to us." Drew explained. _

"_No self-respecting Irish person worth their salt would give you a straight answer…the gift of blarney just doesn't allow it. And I resent being called a drama queen – I just am more in tune with my emotions than others and am more expressive." Andy retorted. _

"_Translation: Drama queen who knows she's an attention whore and is loving it." Drew quipped. _

"_I told mom to put you back or exchange you for a sweater in the delivery room or at least pawn you off for better hospital food. But no… stupid maternal instincts! I hate being your stupid twin!" Andy muttered. _

"_What the fuck?" Draco exclaimed in bewilderment. _

"_Draco, my boy, you're in for a world of chaos and adventure…" the twins chorused as Drew slung his arm across Draco's shoulder and Andy put her arm in the crook of his and they walked him along the shore, explaining everything to him._

* * *

Draco swore softly as he stood beside and unconscious Andy. He released a frustrated sigh and rummaged in the folds of his robe until he successfully found what he was looking for. He grinned triumphantly and read the label:

_**LADY GODIVA'S**_

**_INSTANT ILL PILLS _**

"**_If they don't cure your problem nothing will..."_**

_Spoiling your fun? Give 'em the red pill for instant runs..._

_Fed up with an obnoxious prick? Orange will fix this dick…._

_Wish that uptight stick in the mud would be mellow? Give 'em a taste of the yellow…_

_Don't want to read the rest of this crap?_

_Say your problem and give this bottle two taps…_

_**By the way, if you've stolen this you sticky-fingered klepto**_

_**Severe nausea, upset stomach, indigestion and diarrhoea….**_

_**Go make friends with Mr. Pepto…**_

Draco couldn't help but chuckle at Andy's warning and murmured, "_Unconscious and banged up…_" and tapped the bottle twice. Suddenly the label changed to reveal:

_**Didn't want to appreciate the effort I've put into my work?**_

_**Then, you ungrateful impatient asshole of a jerk….**_

_**The blue will do the trick for you!**_

Instantly, the bottle uncorked itself and spat out two blue pills with disgust and then flipped him the bird. Draco made a mental note to speak to Andy about her label manners. How could she expect people to buy her concoctions when she spoke to them like that? He took the pills and fed them to Andy, waiting for their immediate effect. Seconds later, he was rewarded with a conscious recuperated Andy.

"What the hell happened?" asked Andy as she got out of bed.

"Your idiot brother was messing around with that damned diary and the Dark Lord decided to invite us over for tea at that same moment." Draco drawled.

"For tea? Aww…isn't that tweet? He wants us to be fwends. Can I bring Miss Dolly? Or is it strictly androgynous teddy bears in attendance? " Andy asked.

"I should think so…Miss Dolly looks like a rookie drag queen, which gives her a kind of androgynous look. She'll blend right in." Draco replied.

"Goodie! Now let's go meet The Joker." said Andy as they snuck out of the infirmary.

"I never really thought of him as the Joker…more of a Darth Vader. " Draco remarked as they walked down the corridor.

" Now that you put it that way…this whole sitch kinda parallels Star Wars in an odd way. That makes Harry the Luke Sky Walker. Where does that put you? Hans Solo? Then that makes Ginny…Princess Lea. Then who's Chewbacca? Or R2-D2? I've got to think about this some more. Maybe Drew can straighten it all out. He's good at these superhero/villain parallels…" Andy mused.

* * *

"Tonight, our mission is to find a prized possession of the Dark Lord. You must retrieve it by any means necessary. _Take no prisoners_." said Lucius Malfoy as he stood in front of the room full of young Death Eaters.

He looked pointedly at Draco, visually communicating that he expected him to be the one to do so. It was unspoken that whoever was successful would be looked upon in favour by the Dark Lord – a coveted estate by all Death Eaters.

Lucius looked at the twins with a mixture of disdain and distrust. He didn't like the unknown Yanks with a shielded past who seemed to be garnering increasing favour with the Dark Lord. The odd thing was that they had only been in the organization for barely a year and had gone on far less missions than Draco but the Dark Lord took to them like a duck to water. The normally guarded, paranoid Dark Lord who took a long time to like or trust anyone was becoming…_fond_ (if one could say so) of the Yanks.

Mind you, they had not botched one single mission. In fact, they (along with Draco) were the best young soldiers they had. They were ruthless in the execution of their tasks. They were cold-blooded killers with not one iota of humanity in them (a trait Draco would do well to hone perfectly). When they had received the Dark Mark they hadn't so much as blinked. They even seemed to get off on the pain. They were the perfect warriors, perhaps too perfect…

* * *

"Now, I'm going to give you another chance to tell me where the locket is." said Andy, a cold, murderous gleam in her eye.

"_Please…I've told you before…_ _I don't know what you're talking about…" _the woman wailed, tears bathing her face as she sat immobilized on the chair.

" Maybe this'll jog your memory…" said Drew as he grabbed her daughter by the neck.

"Momm-eee! Heeelp! Momm-ee!" the little girl screamed, her arms and legs flailing as she fought to be released from his crushing grip.

"_No…please! Don't hurt her! I don't know what you're talking about!"_ the woman insisted hysterically, trying to get up from the chair to save her daughter.

"The bitch is lying, and you know how I hate being lied to…" Andy trailed off with a shake of her head.

"Speak the truth and speak it ever…" Drew began, slowly running the blade of a knife across the little girl's neck, leaving a trail of blood in its wake.

"_No! Stop! Stop it you fucking bastards!"_ the woman screamed, desperately trying to get to her daughter.

"Cause it what it will…" Andy continued, as Drew slashed the girl's wrists, her blood dripping on the baby doll at her feet.

"Momm-ee…Oww! Momm-ee…" the girl wailed.

"She who hides the wrong she did…" Drew added, slashing the girl's stomach.

"Does the wrong thing still." Andy finished, laughing as Drew plunged the knife into the girl's heart, releasing the woman from the chair.

"Nooo….. Molly! My baby!" the woman bawled, running to catch her daughter as Drew dropped her lifeless body to the floor.

"_Mama…Mama…Mama.."_ repeatedly cooed the doll as the girl's body fell on the doll, covering it in blood.

The woman cried hysterically as she held her daughter's limp body in her hands, rocking back and forth. Suddenly she picked up the incessantly chatting annoying doll and threw it at a wall in the far corner.

"Is that any way to treat little Molly's baby? She would never let her baby be hurt…good little mommy that she was. Guess _she_ was a _good mother_ even though _you _failed her in that capacity. Tsk tsk… shame about the parents these days…" said Andy as she picked up the doll.

"Just not fulfilling their duties like they used to. Wouldn't you say…" Drew added, charming the doll to look like the dead little girl and setting it on the floor.

"_Mama…Mama…Mama…I love you…Mama…"_ the doll chanted as it walked towards her.

"_You bastards!_ _Damn you!"_ the woman cried, launching herself at Drew.

" No no no! Violence is not the answer. Haven't you learned about all the damage the violent way does? Shame…" said Andy as Drew repelled her with a spell.

"Now… since you won't tell _us_ what you did with the locket. Maybe you'll tell little Molly…" Drew suggested, conjuring a seemingly revived form of the little girl.

"_Mommy…just tell them what you did with the locket. Just tell them…tell them mommy…"_ the little girl pleaded, walking over to her sobbing mother.

"_No! I don't know! I don't know…Baby… I don't know…"_ she replied, sobbing and shaking her head.

"_Tell them…just tell them mommy…_" the little girl continued.

"_I DON'T KNOW! LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!" _the woman screamed.

"_Bitch!_ _Just tell them where it is! I died because of it!"_ the little girl roared, attacking her mother.

"_Get off me! Stop! No! GET OFF!"_ said the woman reluctantly fighting her little girl.

Suddenly the little girl abruptly halted her assault and slumped to the floor.

"_Mommy…you killed me…"_ she said, her eyes remaining fixed on her mother as she became lifeless yet again.

The woman looked to see the knife protruding from the girl's stomach and looked at her hands to see her little girl's blood all over them.

"_No! What did I do! Molly…" _the woman whispered hoarsely, staring in shock at her daughter.

"As touching as this Kleenex moment has been, we need to get going. It's obvious you know absolutely nothing about we want and…those other people aren't going to torture themselves. So…" Andy began.

"Have a nice…afterlife." Drew finished, sending her on her way with the killing curse.

"Psychological torture…when you care enough to send the best…"

* * *

"I still can't believe we haven't found that locket. All that torture for nothing…well, it _was_ entertaining." said Andy as she and Draco walked back to Slytherin.

"What you did to that woman and her daughter…classic. Possibly your best work yet." Draco remarked.

" Nuh-uh my friend. The best is yet to come." Andy replied as he gave the password and they entered the common room.

"Shouldn't you be getting back to the infirmary so Potter can play doctor?" asked Draco as they plopped down on the couch.

"Nah! I'm going to my room. I hate that place. The turndown service stinks and the help has poor manners. Plus, I think Pomfrey went through my things and tried to feel me up." Andy responded.

"They ought to do something about that old lech! She assaulted me too. Couldn't keep her hands off my hot, toned gorgeous body." Draco added.

" So…how're things with Ginny?" asked Andy.

"I can't imagine why you would find _that_ interesting. I'm going to bed." Draco answered, getting up and heading for his room.

" A…Because you and Ginny belong together. B…. Because I love the whole drama behind it. C… Because you're good for each other. D….Ginny needs to get laid and you need to _lay _Ginny. E…Because I love the whole drama behind it. F…. Did I mention the drama?" Andy explained, counting off the reasons on her fingers.

"Leave it alone Andy!" Draco called out as he disappeared around a corner.

"You're no fun!" Andy muttered with a pout.

"_I'll get you my pretty. I'll get you and your little dog too…"_

* * *

Harry frowned as he saw a completely restored Andy sauntering into the Great Hall for breakfast. He had expected her to be out for at least two days before she would be back to her old self. But as usual, you had to expect the unexpected with Andy.

"Andy, what are you doing here?" asked Harry as she sat down at the Gryffindor table beside Ginny.

"Eating breakfast. Should I go elsewhere?" responded Andy, preparing to get up and join her housemates.

"N-no! Not at all. I'm just surprised to see you up and about is all." Harry answered.

"Why? What happened Andy?" asked Ginny.

"Nothing really. I had a little accident last night and I got a little booboo. Nothing to worry about." Andy explained.

"Are you sure?" asked Ginny.

"Of course I'm sure. Don't be silly! I'm a tough girl." Andy insisted.

"Ok. If you're sure…" said Ginny.

"Of course I am. Now, what are you doing this evening?" asked Andy.

"Absolutely nothing. Why do you ask?" said Ginny.

"Ughh! Bangers and mash? How can you people eat something with such a sexual connotation? You name the sausage _banger?_ Isn't it bad enough that it looks like a dick? But you gotta name it banger? Why don't you just call it _sex on a plate_ or something? Give me a bowl of Fruit Loops any day! Maybe I'll have some bacon and eggs with a bagel slathered in rich cream cheese and perhaps a glass of OJ. Or perhaps a Spanish omelette…I think I'll just have toast." Andy rambled, thoughtfully tilting her head to the side.

"Andy! Focus! You were telling me why the interest in my lack of plans for the evening…" Ginny prompted her.

"Oh! Went for a ride again…uhmm…yeah…ok…The thing is, I need a few assistants for my Muggle Studies class and I was wondering if you would help me." Andy explained.

" Sure. What is it that you need help with?" Ginny consented as she ate her breakfast.

" You'll see. Make sure you dress nicely though. Wear something sexy." came Andy's cryptic reply as she munched on a piece of toast.

"Ok…But don't expect me to put out the first time." Ginny teased, taking a sip of pumpkin juice.

"A little Fire Whiskey in your drink and you'll be singing a different tune missy." Andy retorted, turning Ginny's face so that it was mere kissing distance from hers.

"I'm not easy…but we can discuss it." said Ginny, licking her lips and looking at Andy with half-lidded eyes.

Ron turned beet red at the scene in front of him. He couldn't believe his baby sister was behaving in such a manner. She looked like a wanton hussy! Even though Andy was completely making him randy… Ginny was making all the other males randy as well! Horny teenage boys were dangerous -- he should know!

" Girlfriend. Hello?" said Hermione as she smacked a drooling Ron in the head.

"Ouch! What was that – Right then." He responded, rubbing his head.

" Let's open negotiations then…" said Andy, pulling Ginny closer.

" Yes, let's…" Ginny replied, threading her fingers through Andy's hair.

All male eyes watched as Andy and Ginny moved towards each other like moths to the flame as if some magnetic force attracted them. The whole Great Hall was silent as everyone held their breath, watching as a girl-on-girl kiss unfolded…Ginny let out a low moan as Andy massaged her scalp, her lips descending on her-- cheek.

"Damn!" came the collective murmured curse from many a male and a few females.

" Maybe the second time with the gift of a shiny bauble then," said Andy with a grin, pinching her cheek and ruffling her hair.

"You betcha! Diamonds are a girl's best friend." Ginny replied with a giggle as they got up from the table.

"That's my girl!" said Andy, giving her a playful smack on the rump.

"That would be so sexy if my sister weren't involved…" Drew commented as they left the Great Hall.

"Luckily, I'm not bloody related to either one of them." said Dean Thomas with a leer, watching their disappearing backsides.

"Dude … that's my sister… back off!" Drew growled, glaring at Dean and the other admirers.


	12. U Need A Lil Push: Right Over The Edge

A**/N: I'm sorry I haven't updated in such a long time. Believe me; the guilt has been eating me alive every day. So I finally chained myself to my computer until this chappy was written. This chapter is un-beta'ed so errors may be in it. **

Chapter Ten

Ginny smiled as she trudged onto the empty quidditch pitch, glad that she was the only one there. Ron would soon start his usual slave driver routine for their practices as he and Harry had been working on some new strategies over the summer. They were determined to end their Hogwarts Quidditch careers with the same bang it had started with.

_As if them being members of the heroic, legendary Golden Trio led by the famed Boy-Who-Lived isn't enough!_

Ginny snorted in a most unladylike manner and mounted her broom, taking off at lightning speed. She soared into the air until she was at an altitude that afforded her panorama of Hogwarts and its surroundings. As she surveyed what lay below her, she reflected on the beginning of her journey at Hogwarts. The Chamber of Secrets incident would forever haunt her. It was an indelible scar that would always hurt, much like Harry's lightning rod, only hers was internal and no one saw it and no one cared… except Andy and Drew. The Golden Trio were convinced that the twins were nothing but trouble (well, more like the Always-Turned-On-Two…Ron and Hermione because Hypocrite Potter was clearly on his way to Whippingdale where all the other pathetic idiots were constantly flagellated by bossy quims and their infamous dictator Cunt Twat-ula).

Ginny burst out laughing at the image of animated female genitalia barked orders at a simpering, snivelling Harry and whacked him when he did something wrong.

_Bloody hell! That's disgusting….yet oddly humorous at the same time! What the hell am I thinking? I've been around those two for too long. Their twisted imagination is rubbing off on me! _

Ginny gave her brain a mental shower and returned to her retrospection. That first year she had felt so lost, alone, scared, left out – a feeling that permeated throughout the years and to a lesser extent this year. The twins constant presence and support in her life was really helping her to deal with her issues. Her smile actually reached her eyes now, she was becoming bolder, more assertive, less hung up on Harry (and more taken with Draco…jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. Oh well, 'twas the Gryffindor way…). But the years of bitterness and resentment towards the Golden Trio were not so easy to erase, especially when they took to slagging her only real friends in years. But Drew kept telling her that they loved her and just wanted her to be safe.

"_Sure Ron can be a 'right git' as you would say, but it's a pre-requisite for being a brother, especially an older one. Trust me; Andy's got plenty of war stories about my being overprotective. We can't help it…we love you and it makes us crazy when you get hurt." Drew assured her. _

She had felt slightly irritated that Drew was taking Ron's side but grudgingly acknowledged that his words held some truth. Andy had said that one of Drew's fatal flaws was his objectivity and finely honed sense of maturity…a flaw Andy was working on day and night.

Of the two, Andy was the impetuous, fiery, cheeky, stubborn one; while Drew was more calm, reserved, level-headed, practical and flexible. Mind you, the both of them were quick-witted, adventurous, hilarious and loyal to the death. Ginny knew that if and when they joined forces, they would be like a tornado of Cornish pixies. From what she gathered, Andy schemed and Drew helped her to carry them out. Andy's strengths were Potions, Charms and Transfiguration while Drew excelled at DADA, Herbology and everything else. Drew loved both magical and non-magical creatures while Andy couldn't stand them (and the creatures felt the same…except for her pets Mu-Shu and Fowl).

Ginny couldn't possibly see what Ron thought was so evil about them. They even felt the twins surpassed Draco Malfoy in evilness (How could cross-dressing and faux- Dementors compare? Draco easily won Fiend of the Year hands down!) The twins were as harmless as Fred and George in her eyes. They were her friends… _so was Tom…until you almost became basilisk food! Stop! They are nothing like Tom. I would know. I'm not some naïve eleven year old anymore! I know evil when I see it! Evil doesn't come breathing fire, it oozes honey that keeps you rooted in it and makes you slip and slide when you try to get away. Evil never lets you go…_

* * *

Andy groaned in frustration and muffled a scream with her pillow. Drew chuckled and tugged the pillow out of her hands.

"Patience is a virtue." said Drew.

"I'm a loony slutbag whore – I have no virtue, ergo zero patience!" Andy retorted.

"You've got to give them time, sis. Let things unfold as they will." Drew advised.

"Give it time? If I wait on those two all their parts will be worn down from _lack_ of use instead of _over_use like the gods intended!" Andy exclaimed.

"Eww! Now I've got a picture of Worn-Out Draco trying to bang a Dried-Up Ginny! That's spontaneous combustion waiting to happen." Drew grimaced.

"I highly doubt it. Draco will be a greasy letch to the grave. Anyway, don't try to change the subject – Draco and Ginny need to be doing a lot of slap and tickle! With our profession who knows when we'll get killed. They need to _carpe diem!_" Andy ranted.

"Only you could make the ordinary sound dirty. They need to _carpe diem_? Hey baby, why don't you come to my place so I can **_carpe_ **your **_diem_** with my **_terra firma_**. "Drew mock leered at his imaginary babe.

"Har-dee-har. You amuse me so. "Andy deadpanned, playfully smacking him on the head.

"When is Gel Boy coming to help us?" asked Drew, as he thumbed through the diary.

"As soon as he gets some beauty sleep. He's bloody _knackered_." Andy replied with a perfect British accent at the end.

"I see you're talking the talk." Drew commented.

" It's what we do – assimilate then annihilate. By the way, did that last spell unlock anything? "Andy replied.

"Nope. But I'll try again – _ludus!_ " Drew responded, sighing as yet another attempt went in vain.

* * *

She watched him as he slept and marvelled at how sleep could render his cold, stoic countenance to appear boyishly angelic. When he slept he wasn't the terse, arrogant warrior- the mighty Dragon. He was simply a man enjoying the warmth of his woman. She belonged only to him – he was her first and last lover.

"I shall miss you." She whispered, fighting back tears as she stroked his hair and kissed his forehead.

"Why?" he rumbled from beneath her.

She jumped up and snatched away her hand.

"You expected me to be asleep when your hands were wandering all over my body? A man can only endure so much my sweet." He replied.

She could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks as his member jutted out proudly, announcing his state of arousal. She squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head away from him, not wanting him to see her embarrassed reaction.

" How can you still be shy after all the wicked, sinful things we've been doing? It makes me want you even more when I see that brazen, fiery wanton swathed in innocence." He said sitting up and sweeping aside the curtain of her hair to expose the creamy column of her neck.

She mewled as he alternately licked and nibbled the expanse of flesh from her jaw down to her neck. He then drew her onto his lap so that her plump, ripe breasts brushed against his chest as she settled herself onto his erect manhood.

"_Please…Draco…love me…"_

"_Sweet Ginny…"_

* * *

Ginny's eyes flew open as she escaped the vision's grasp on her mind. She struggled to maintain her balance as it left her disoriented and slightly weak. She licked her dry lips and dragged gulps of air into her lungs in an effort to regain her composure. One minute she had been reflecting on her life and the next she was lulled into bed with Draco Malfoy!

_Merlin! Am I off my bleeding rocker? Shagging Draco the-Bane-of-My-Existence-for-Nearly-Six-Years-Malfoy? ...Was what you wanted to do last night. Admit it Weasley, you fancy the bloke. You want him to shag you until you need Skele-Grow! I bloody well do not! I want him to shag me out of existence! Bloody hell! I'm such a slag… _

* * *

Draco awoke in a very bad mood. First, Ginny had caused him to go to bed last night with the hard-on from hell. Then she had had the nerve to come to breakfast looking like a bleeding enchanting nymph who just felt the need to smile at and bedazzle every fucking bloke she saw. Then that snot-nosed know-it-all Granger couldn't resist reminding him about the Prefect meeting in he looked at a nearby clock…_the next twenty minutes_ (when he had planned to spend the time to draft new quidditch strategies). And the fucking iron spike in the coffin was the damn dream that he had just awoken from. He had thought that they would leave him alone after the lull he had been experiencing but then another dream returned with a bleeding vengeance!

"_BLOODY FUCKING HELLLL!"_ he yelled at the top of his lungs in frustration and anger.

He growled a string of expletives with a unique combination here and there that would put any seasoned sailor to shame as he got up out of his bed. He trudged over to his mirror and threatened to smash it into a million pieces when the mirror told him he looked like death warmed up. He was Oscar's long lost twin – Ozzie the Grouch. He muttered a spell that refreshed his appearance and left his room for the emergency Prefects meeting.

* * *

Ginny swore softly as she remembered the Prefect meeting that Hermione had scheduled and hurried to her dorm so she could make herself remotely presentable. After she fixed herself up she ran like a bat out of hell to the meeting (she didn't fancy Hermione chewing her ear off about the importance of punctuality again).

Draco stalked through the corridors like a very hungry and furious beast looking for prey. The scary look of seething rage on his face caused people to scamper away like little bunnies as they saw him. Ginny would later declare that the gods were definitely out to get her as they suddenly collided into each other.

"Merlin's old saggy nuts! What is it with us and blind corners?" Ginny muttered as she tried to get up from off Draco's body.

"I don't bloody know. But obviously we're not doing what we're supposed to do…" Draco murmured.

" Wha-" said Ginny, her question cut off by her lips crashing down on Draco's as he yanked her to him.

Stunned, Ginny's lips were closed and her body rigid against him until the notion of exactly what was taking place sunk into her brain. With that, she relaxed against him and parted her lips so his tongue could gain access to her mouth. Ginny could feel herself practically melting into a pool of shooting stars and fireworks as he plundered her mouth with his tongue. Ginny moaned and returned his kiss with equal fervour. Soon, their hands were all over each other until Draco was in the process of removing Ginny's bra.

Ginny's breath caught in her throat as she felt Draco's hands cupping her breasts. Immediately she stopped kissing him and looked at him in shock. He smirked and gave her nipples an insolent twist. She gasped as her eyes watered in a reaction of arousal, pain and embarrassment.

"Learn this _Virginia_ …I _always_ have my way…Nothing and no one is off-limits to me." he growled.

"Bastard!" she spat, raising her hand to strike him.

He quickly grabbed her hand before it could reach its intended target and she glared at him.

"Tsk tsk… that's not nice. I let you get away with that once but never again. If you ever dare to hit me again I won't be held responsible for my actions." he warned her in a steely voice, easing her off his body and resting her on the floor beside him.

He got to his feet and shot her a disdainful look as he walked away. She lay there watching as his robes billowed behind him as he stalked down the corridor, his form getting smaller and smaller as he disappeared down the corridor. As soon as he was out of sight, she dissolved into tears and thanked the gods that at least they hadn't been given an audience so that she could maintain some shred of dignity. She skipped the meeting and instead went to Andy to bawl her eyes out.

* * *

"Bastard!" muttered Andy as Ginny relayed her tale of her run-in with Draco.

"That's exactly what I said." Ginny added.

"He should be hung by his naughty bits!" Andy sympathized.

" A fitting punishment indeed." Ginny agreed.

To the onlooker it would seem as if Andy cared about Ginny's predicament as much as she would if Ginny had broken a nail but those close to her knew differently. That was one of the oddities of Andy's personality. One would think that Andy's fire and impetuousness would lead to her being a hothead but it was quite the opposite. Whenever Andy was angry, she appeared to have an air of calm approaching near indifference on the outside but inside she was hopping mad. Drew on the other hand, would go off like an earthquake… with tremors of irritation but quakes of fury that were off the Richter scale.

"That boy's going to get his just desserts one of these days. Mark my word….he will." said Andy.

"I hope he gets seconds and thirds!" Ginny hissed.

* * *

Draco sighed in relief as he walked to Slytherin, glad that he had no other obligations for the rest of the day – leaving him free to work on his quidditch strategies. Apparently, that was not to be as his path was suddenly blocked by Andy .

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Sonofadog! Expelliarmus! Densaugeo! Furnunculus! Conjunctivitis! Calere!" Andy cursed him before he could do anything.

Draco could only watch as Andy knocked his wand out of his hand, enlarged his teeth, covered him in boils, inflamed his eyes, and made his skin burn.

"If you want to act like a major dick then so be it!" Andy spat as she clenched her wand in rage, still pointing in his direction. "Engorgio phallus!"

Draco groaned as he felt his member begin to swell painfully in his pants. It felt like someone was blowing up a hot air balloon down there.

"That's enough Miss Huntington!" McGonagall hissed as she encountered Andy and Draco.

"What is the meaning of this? Fifty points from Slytherin for attacking a prefect Miss Huntington!" she declared.

"You can add fifty more Minnie…" Andy growled.

"What are —" asked McGonagall, her words cut off by Andy's sudden movement.

Andy gritted her teeth and kicked Draco squarely in the groin. He howled and slowly doubled over in pain.

"Immobulus!" McGonagall thundered, rooting Andy to the spot.

Andy glared at Draco and then McGonagall, seething with rage and itching to do more damage.

"One hundred points from Slytherin _and_ detention with Mr. Filch for a month for you Miss Huntington! Now I'm going to release you and if you try anything else the length of your detention will be at Mr. Filch's pleasure! Do I make myself clear?" McGonagall amended.

Andy narrowed her eyes in reluctant agreement.

"Good. Finite incantatem!" said McGonagall, releasing Andy. She tried to do the same to Draco but it wouldn't work. She tried once more but it still didn't work.

"What the devil?" she muttered.

Andy smirked inwardly as she watched the dilemma unfold in front of her.

"Mr. Malfoy, you seem to be in another quandary with stubborn curses again. I suspect it is the same perpetrator…" said McGonagall, looking at Andy with suspicion.

"Draco is a rather unpleasant fellow which has earned him many enemies in this school, Professor. This time it was definitely I who cursed him but I have not yet reached that level of subtlety that gives me anonymity in cases like these. My predecessor is obviously quite skilled beyond my imagination." Andy responded with a self-deprecating look.

"_Bollocks!"_ McGonagall's instincts screamed but she suppressed the urge to throttle the lying little Spawn of Slytherin and instead told Andy to report to Mr. Filch as soon as she had finished eating dinner. Hopefully, Argus would be tempted to take a stroll down memory lane with the girl. Interacting with her always left a horrid taste in her mouth. With that being said, she took Draco to Madame Pomfrey.


	13. The Beat Goes On

Another Brief Word from our Sponsors

(loud stream of chatter) (clears throat and taps mike)

Denx: Hello everyone. It's me again…Denx a.k.a. Anonybunny. Thank you all for coming to another of these things.

(camera flashes) (blinks)

Reporter: What took you so long? We haven't heard from you in months! We thought you were in Azkaban or something.

(chuckles)

Denx: I was in a place far worse than that my friend…

Reporter: Where were you?

(nods solemnly)

Denx: _College_….

(audience chuckles)

Reporter: Some would say the story has grown since the last time we were here. It has evolved beyond the signature witty dialogue and is even incorporating more emotion into it.

Denx: With each chapter that I write I try to outdo the last one. This story started out a little light and airy but then as it goes on it starts to get darker. Since I started it over three years ago the plot has changed at least five times- hence the delays in updates. I'm constantly re-reading and re-evaluating the story to make sure the twins aren't stealing the show, especially Andy because she is so fiery and magnetic that you can't help gravitating towards her. I wanted the story to be light but then I realized that Ginny and Draco have that whole forbidden love thing going on so there's no way I could make it light. I mean Draco has that intensity about him and Ginny has this inner fire and when you mix the two and throw in the struggle for good then it's very hard for me to keep it light.

Reporter: Yeah… when Chapter Nine came out I was like 'Whoa! What the hell is happening here?' I mean, one minute the twins are the good guys and the next they're torturing people. It kinda threw me for a loop because now I don't know what to think of the twins!

Denx: I'm glad to hear that. I didn't want the twins to be one-dimensional, so predictable. I want you to be so shook up you can't decide whether to love them or hate them.

Reporter: I notice Draco is being twice the ass he usually is.

Denx: Really? I think he's just being his usual self. It only seems that way because he has the spotlight on him now than when Harry's soaking up all the rays. Remember who Draco is and where he comes from –he's a Malfoy and they don't make nice-nice. Besides, it's part of what Ginny finds charming. Draco wouldn't be Draco unless he's being a total ass to somebody.

Reporter: What about Harry and Andy? Won't her being evil throw a spanner in the works?

Denx: I try to only mention Harry and Andy as this is a D/G story although their relationship is a supplementary part of the plot. I'm considering giving Harry and Andy a story of their own but we'll have to wait and see how the Heir of Slytherin saga works out first.

Reporter: So when's the next update?

Denx: Hopefully, I will have everything all typed and beta'ed with the next two weeks or probably less. We'll see how things go from here. Before I go, I want to thank **lightning8star** and **GrapeStarburst** for archiving the story in their C2's. I'm touched that you would do that. I also want to thank my wonderful beta – **bellodraco** as well as **little-munchkin-poo, KeeperofthePineNeedles, blissfulxsin **and everyone that has read and reviewed the story so far. Thank you for sticking by the story and for not kicking me off your lists. I promise to try and update regularly and hopefully have the story finished up by March.

END


	14. Things Like This Make Me Go All 2 Pieces

**A/N: I'm sorry for the hiatus but as usual, RL got in the way. I know I promised to have everything all wrapped up and bowed by March but my PC went kaput and bye-bye went the chapters I had been working. So I'm starting all over which means there'll be a delay in wrapping it up. Please bear with me. **

**Special Mention: I'm eternally grateful to kaygina from LJ who allowed me to borrow a thing or two from both her pieces '****50 Ways To Catch The Eye of Draco Malfoy****' and '****50 Rules To Avoid Falling In Love With Ginny Weasley****'. Thanks a bajillion to my wonderful beta bellodraco who always takes time out to make sure this fic doesn't crash and burn. **

Chapter Eleven

Harry was having a hard time coming to terms with the downward spiral things had taken. Ever since they had heard the news of the village Voldemort had massacred, the white hats had been on edge – especially Hermione. She kept pressing him for developments regarding Andy that would be helpful but to her frustration, he could not give any. Her frustration frustrated him, which led to tension between them, which eventually erupted into a quarrel that would have made Ron look peaceful and calm. Hermione had questioned his objectivity which had made him furious. He was not blind where Andy was concerned. He had spent all his life battling with evil people; he knew what the bloody hell evil looked like, and Andy just wasn't it! He was so sure of her … until he stumbled upon her and Blaise in an abandoned classroom.

He had been looking for a place to wallow in his anger and sort out his mind when he had the misfortune (or fortune rather), to see her gushing over some shiny bauble that Blaise had given her. He saw red instantly and charged at Blaise, knocking him to the floor with a solid punch. Before he could inflict any more damage, Andy had repelled him with her wand. She told him that he had no claim on her and to stay away from her and Blaise. She threatened to rip his balls off and use it as a coin purse if he so much as gave Blaise a funny look. Then she turned her back on him and attended to Blaise. Angrier than before, he stalked out of the classroom, went back to his room, took out his stash of firewhiskey, and went to the Room of Requirement to have a pity party.

_Look at me now  
Just sittin here by myself  
And I think you found someone else  
Now I'm gonna have to find  
A way to put the bottle down  
And why can't you see  
That I'm drowning in a pool of misery…._

_-Away From Me, _Puddle of Mudd

* * *

"Potter's got it baaaaad," Blaise chuckled as Andy tended to him.

"Oh shut up!" Andy chided him.

"The bloke obviously needed to get a few things off his chest and clear his head. I was happy to oblige him."

"Now Luna will kill me for sure. At least I saved her pretty necklace from destruction – that should earn some Brownie points."

"I can't believe Potter thought we were fooling around behind his back. Can you imagine? You….and me…bloody getting it on….inconceivable!"

" Why is it inconceivable? I'm a nubile young woman, and you're a virile young man…we both have needs…"

" Because, you may act like a seasoned strumpet, but you're so goddamned monogamous! I should know – I bloody dated you for two years! Besides, Luna would melt the golden sceptre and snatch the Zabini crown jewels if I ever cheated on her!"

"Maybe you should have told _that_ to Harry and saved us the little altercation."

Blaise frowned at her words and peered at her closely. Suddenly, his eyes shone with understanding and he let out a hollow chuckle.

"We seem to have fallen and can't get up," Blaise remarked as he assessed Andy with a shrewd gaze.

"Flat on our asses, sweetie… flat on our asses…" Andy concurred with a sigh of resignation.

* * *

"_Mimsy?_ Mimsy is **not** a word!" Drew protested.

"It totally is! Tell him, Drake," Andy insisted, looking to Draco for support.

"_'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe," _Draco responded with a smile.

"So there!" Andy rejoined in satisfaction.

"Jabberwocky? You're using words from Jabberwocky? Lewis Carroll was on some serious opium when he came up with that!" Drew replied.

"Some would say that about Dumbledore and his administrative policies…" Draco quipped.

The triad was in the common room of Draco's suite playing Babble- Bullshit! Scrabble. Dumbledore had given the suite to Draco as a haven from the harrowing life he led. It had been Salazar Slytherin's hideaway while at Hogwarts which only the Headmasters had known about. As soon as it had been given to him, the cyclone that was Drew's partner in domesticity (She abhorred the term _wife, woman_ or any other such titles conferred by the _cock-man oppressors_, as she not-so-delicately liked to put it) had breezed through and redecorated. She had threatened him with pleather trousers and flamboyant polyester shirts if he didn't allow her to decorate. Though Draco would not admit it (not even on pain of death) he loved what she had done with the place.

The drawing room had buttery-gold walls with a lovely ornately carved trumeau mirror that encompassed an oil painting of the sunset and Victorian-esque bay windows that took up the entire east wall. In the centre of it all, a golden velvet sofa embellished with cushions embroidered in sage green and framed by dark brown wood with simple yet elegant carving was flanked by two matching sitting benches and a divinely carved low table in front of a cosy fireplace.

"Andy, I've been meaning to ask you about these dreams I've been having—" Draco began.

"Ginny has them too. It's obvious that you two shared a past life and love. Honestly, a bat could see that in broad daylight!" Andy interjected.

"And?" Draco countered with a nonchalant brow raise.

"**_And…_**you should totally go after her!" Andy insisted.

"Why the sudden concern with my love life?" asked Draco.

"Because she has a 'feeling' about Ginny," Drew explained.

"Yeah. And have I ever steered you wrong?" Andy added.

"There was that time I was a French whore named Frou-Frou," Drew supplied.

"Assless chaps….'nough said," Draco said.

"Ok. So I may have…gone off-course once or twice, but I've been dead-on the other times. This time is no exception – you and Ginny are meant for each other and the sooner you accept it the better. Double-crossing tends to shorten one's life span, more so when playing with Dumbledore and the Boy-Who-Should-Have-Died—" Andy persevered, her voice taking on a dangerous lilt at the end.

"— That's why you need to enjoy what little time you have with her," Drew cut Andy off, sensing she was about to erupt.

"Like you and Potter, you mean?" Draco asked with a sardonic smile.

"Ye-No. I'm just keeping Harry out of our hair so we can deal with all this working for the Dark Lord shit," Andy grumbled

"Uh huh…keep telling yourself that," Drew retorted.

"I'm…enjoying _him_ while he lasts,"

"And judging by Potter's experience…. Two minutes at best," Draco quipped.

"Well you and Harry make strange bedfellows," Andy retorted with a grin.

Draco growled and playfully smacked her with a cushion.

* * *

Ginny sighed in relief as she perched on a window sill in the Astronomy Tower. She was glad that the day was drawing to a close and the overdose of lovey-dovey would end. Andy and Luna had kept her busy helping with Valentine's Day activities as well as the launch of _The Hogwarts Scholar_ – newspaper brainchild of Luna Lovegood. Luna was the Editor-in-Chief with Drew, Ginny, and Andy as her assistants. Everything had gone off without a hitch and Ginny was grateful for the alone time this afforded her.

She looked up at the beautiful starry sky as she reflected on recent happenings. She had not had a good night's rest for the past week. Her slumber had been plagued with alternating dreams of Ginevra and Tom Riddle. She was reluctant to share this with anyone, hoping that the dreams were just pre-game jitters for the upcoming Gryffindor/Hufflepuff match.

Besides, if the Golden Trio ever got wind of the re-emergence of Tom Riddle then her life would go downhill from the moment they knew. They would become overprotective and try to keep her away from the twins who made her laugh more, try crazy things, and be more open with people- resulting in a more stable, friendly Ginny with better grades and high self-esteem. The twins respected her and made her feel good about herself. If it hadn't been for them she probably would've had a nervous breakdown! She didn't want to hear the Trio harping on about how she never had these dreams again until the twins showed up and that they were agents of Voldemort using these dream to bend her to their master's will. How could they be agents of Voldemort when they made her better and not worse?

Ginny let go of those thoughts and decided to concentrate on something else – quidditch strategies, perhaps. She sampled her box of chocolates as she visualized possible manoeuvres in the night sky.

"Enjoying the good stuff while you can? Dreading the repugnant monster-breeding swill at home? I'm surprised the lot of you hasn't de-evolved. Although, judging by your brother's current state of mutation he is but a meal away from being primordial ooze," came an all-too-familiar sneer.

"Fuck you, Malfoy," Ginny grumbled.

"You'd have to buy me dinner first, but I don't associate with people who unhinge their jaws to eat," he quipped.

Ginny exhaled loudly and turned to see Draco in the doorway. He was looking quite handsome in a black turtleneck sweater, black slacks and black shoes. A lock of his shocking white hair fell in front of his eyes and gave him a rakish air as he leaned against the doorjamb, arms folded, one leg crossed over the other, and smirked at her. Ginny repressed the fluttering in her belly and yielded, "Not tonight, Malfoy. Let's just finish the day as it started – peacefully."

He looked at her in consideration for a moment and then shrugged his shoulders in a 'why-the-hell-not' gesture. He strolled over to her and sat facing her on the sill.

"To what do I owe the displeasure of your company?" she asked out of curiosity.

"If I had to stay around all that …_emotion,_ I would have massacred them all," he explained.

"I see. Chocolate? "

"Ta, Weasley."

"I have a name."

"I know – Weasley."

"You're infuriating… to think I wanted to shag you. So young, so stupid."

"Don't feel bad, Weasley. Many want to shag me until I can't remember my own name. Who wouldn't want the Slytherin Sex God's _Basilisk-That-Makes-Women-Weep-With-Pleasure _or my personal favourite_- Sceptre of Sordidness?_"

"You're so bloody full of it!"

"If you play your cards right, you just might be full of _it_ too."

"Merlin! Who writes your material?"

"House elf named _Stiffy_. By the way, how did you plan to accomplish shagging me?"

"There was a list."

"Of?"

"_Ways to Catch the Eye of Draco Malfoy_… 50, in fact."

"You sat down and devoted time and energy to come up with 50 ways to 'catch my eye'? 50? Persistent little Gryffindor! And what was on this list?"

"I can't remember them all but there was … **Ambush Draco Malfoy any chance you get. In fact, make it happen,**" Ginny began.

"Note to self-Never, ever stop paying attention to where I'm going in the hallways and always remember to check around corners before proceeding," Draco quipped with a pseudo-grave look on his face.

" Hmm… **Pretend to not notice the attention boys give you. Even when they're talking to your breasts.**"

"Ginny Weasley is still not beautiful. Even though she went and grew breasts," he continued.

" There was … **Either excel at Potions, or fail it.**"

"Never agree to be a tutor, even though it's a shame that people won't be able to share in the vast knowledge of a Malfoy."

"Then … **When staging Quidditch incidents, position yourself so that Draco Malfoy would be able to save you.**"

"During Quidditch, never attempt to save anyone falling off their broom. It's their fault for getting hit by a Bludger and not knowing how to properly ride a broom."

" And… **Give in to hunger pangs and food cravings. Whatever the time of day. **I can't remember the rest off the top of my head."**  
**

"Try to resist the temptations of the Kitchens, if only to avoid consorting with House-Elves. However, sometimes the need for chocolate food is too strong, and you find yourself in the Kitchens, get your food, and leave."

"Determined to thwart all my plans aren't you?"

"You're a Gryffindor- they're not what you'd really call plans…_vague sketches _maybe, but not plans."

"So after all that _…sketching, _don't I get to at least feel you up?" she teased.

"Weasley! I'm not that kind of boy! I have standards!" he huffed in mock indignation.

"Well, can I snog you for a bit then?"

Draco pretended to think for a moment and then replied, "Well…ok. One kiss."

Ginny grinned and moved closer to him. She looped her arms around his neck and captured his lips with hers. He groaned and deepened the kiss as her fingers brushed against the nape of his neck, sending tingles down his spine. She shivered as his hands found their way beneath her blouse.

"Careful, Malfoy, or I might think you're a hussy," she said against his lips.

"Sex gods _are_ hussies, **Vi_rginia_**…_seasoned _hussies," he whispered, his fingers feathering across her lower ribs.

She shuddered at the sound of her name leaving his lips. His husky voice seemed to caress her name, caress _her_, and sent jolts of arousal throughout her body that made her toes curl. They kissed and stroked each other for what seemed like forever until the good sense that Ginny had banished to the dark, dusty recesses of her mind emerged victorious from a heinous battle with rabid dust bunnies. They stopped snogging and looked away from each other as they put themselves right.

"So you'll have dinner with me then?" Ginny whispered with a shy smile and ducked her head, unable to look at him.

He crooked his finger under her chin and tilted her head up so that they could look at each other.

"Weasley," he began, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand, "we'll have a bloody never-ending feast…"

"Well then, it's a good thing my jaws unhinge," she giggled.

**A/N: won't allow the links to kaygina's stuff to work so you'll have to send a message to me so I can give you the links. I'll try to see if I can squeeze them on my profile page. They are hilarious! Keep reading and reviewing dearies!**


	15. Interlude

A/N: Thanks to my lovely beta- bellodraco, in addition to **KeeperofthePineNeedles** and **mell8** for reviewing the last chapter. For those of you that read but didn't review I thank you just the same -keep on reading. This is not an update per se; I'm just having a little fun until the next chapter is finished and beta'ed. Enjoy!

INTERLUDE

Butterflies fluttered in Ginny's stomach as Draco's breath tickled her ear. She inhaled sharply as the sensation travelled lower.

"_Draco..._" she whispered.

"Don't worry. I'll take my time. We can take this as slow as you want," he assured her as he brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face.

She inhaled and nodded mutely as his silver gaze locked with her brown. He brought his head down to hers and kissed away her butterflies with every brush of his tongue against hers. Her body felt as if it was being drained of all strength and she clung to him as if he were a lifeline in a maelstrom-roughened sea.

"_Draco..._"

"I've got you...nice and slow..."

"I don't know about this..."

"We've already started. Don't back out now."

"Well, do it before I lose my bloody nerve! Nice and slow is only drawing it out."

"Impatient little Gryffindor..." Draco chuckled and kissed her neck.

Ginny shot him a nasty look and before she could growl at him, he took the plunge.

"Bloody hell! I can't believe I'm letting you do this to me, Malfoy!" she hissed.

"It's Malfoy now, is it? Whatever happened to _Draco_?" he teased.

"Sod off!"

"As you wish," Draco replied as he pushed her off.

"Bloody heeeeeeeelllllll!" Ginny screamed as she sped down the path.

" Merlin-in-a-g-string! Pedal Ginny! That's how you control the bloody bicycle! Steer it with the handlebars!" he called out to her as she zigged and zagged down the path and screamed like a banshee.

Draco uttered a string of oaths and dashed after her as the runaway bicycle sped towards a stay-right-here tree. He quickly whipped out his wand and incanted, "_Wingardium leviosa_!" The spell sent Ginny and the bicycle pedalling through the air. He heaved a sigh of relief and sagged to the ground.

"Draco!" she called out to him.

He looked up to see Ginny laughing heartily as she pedalled through the air. She smiled and pointed her index finger in front of her and said, "_Phone home..."_

Laughter bubbled inside Draco until he erupted in a full belly laugh, clutching his sides and rolling around. Ginny smiled and asked him to bring her to a landing. After he had his laugh, he did just that.

**

* * *

Draco:** For those of you that thought that scene was about something else...shame on you! Get your minds out of the gutter! 

**Ginny:** Can you blame them? We were a heartbeat away from a bit of 'how's-your-father' on Valentine's Day, remember?

**Draco:** For the record, I'm not that...eager. I absolutely do not operate like that. Anony-bunny made me do that for her own pleasure.

**Ginny:** Riighhht...Mr. 'I-Wasn't-Really-Feeling-That-Last-Scene-Let's-Do-It-Over-A-Million-Times'... not your m.o. at all... _**(eyes and scoffs)**_

**Draco:** (_**indignant huff)**_ I, mademoiselle, am a professional and whatever I do is done to perfection!

**Ginny:** I bet you'd like to do _me_ to perfection!

**Draco: (**sidles up to Ginny and places an arm around her shoulders) As a professional, I also take the desires of my colleagues into consideration as well...

**Ginny:** (scoffs )Piss off!

**Me:** (thunderous voice) Knock it off you two! Now Draco, get your ass back to my bed...and make sure you wear those leather pants I like!

**Ginny:** (bursts out laughing) Malfoy you slag! Sleeping with the boss!

**Draco:** (squirms) Well, technically...she's not the boss – J.K. Rowling is.

**Ginny:** (rolls her eyes) Technically...she kinda is...she's the one writing the story after all! I can't believe you slept your way to the top!

**Draco:** How else was I supposed to get a starring role? That damn Potter and his lackeys were hogging all the spotlight in Rowling's books! All I got were cameos that did nothing to highlight my exceptional greatness!

**Ginny:** So you made this deal with Anony-bunny?

**Draco: **Hey! I worked hard to get here!

**Ginny:** (scoffs) Sure...work...

**Draco:** (scowl and angry finger wag) Leather pants are a bitch... they chafe! You try shimmying up and down a pole in one!

**Ginny:** (rolling on the floor and laughing her ass off) Work...leather pants...chafing...pole...ha ha ha ha ha...

**Draco:** It worked for Alyssa Milano and it will work for me dammit! (storms off)


	16. What's Happening?

Chapter Twelve

**A/N: **It's been ages since an update and me are very sorry for that. Thank you to **JulieMalfoyZabini, KeeperofthePineNeedles, FirePrincessofSlytherin17** and my lovely beta **bellodraco** for the reviews and encouragement.

This chappy is unbeta'ed cause I'm so happy the muse finally worked a little magic and just wanted to get the story moving. I'm working on the next chapters. Read and review me hearties!

Chapter Twelve

Draco and Ginny were in his room at the Slytherin dorm. He had snuck her in whilst everyone else was busy at dinner in the Great Hall. Ginny was still unaware of Draco's other room. Telling Ginny about the hideaway would mean telling her about why he got the room in the first place; and that would open a can of worms that he would prefer to keep lidded. Even though they had been together for a little over three months, and their relationship was in the open, Draco decided to keep his extracurricular activities secret for as long as he could.

" Take that!" Ginny declared as she captured Draco's last marker.

"Yeah, yeah, you won…again," Draco grumbled.

"Aww… is someone a sore loser at checkers?" Ginny teased.

"I'm no loser, but I _do_ have a sore spot. Want to kiss it and make it all better?" Draco retorted with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

"That's what happens when you choke your big snake, oh Slytherin Sex God," Ginny parried.

"You should give it a massage then. Some oil and a good rub can work miracles."

"I believe that's how it got sore in the first place."

"Insolent wench. Come here and put your mouth to better use."

Ginny giggled as Draco swept aside the game and pulled her into his lap.

"And what will you have my mouth to do, oh Slytherin Sex God?"

Draco brushed aside her unruly, fiery hair and nipped at the base of her neck as he slipped his hand beneath her blouse. Ginny's heart sped up a little and her breath hitched as his fingers moved along her spine and ended in ever-widening circles at the small of her back.

"_Virginia_, I want your hot, sweet, little mouth…to read me a bedtime story," Draco whispered in her ear, sending tingles down her spine.

"B-Bedtime story?" she squeaked.

"Yes. I want you to read _At the Wizard's Pleasure _to me," he replied calmly.

It always irked Ginny that Draco could remain so unruffled while she was hot and bothered during their snogging sessions. She wanted to prove to Draco that she too could play that game. Ginny took a deep breath and quelled the giddy feeling that was beginning to take her over and said, "Ok."

Draco ceased his ministrations and summoned the book, handing it to her with a lazy smile. Ginny took the book from him and laughed.

"Really, Draco… _At the Wizard's Pleasure_? I thought you were joking!"

"I'll have you know that it is required reading. McGonagall sets her NEWTs by these."

"Right. I can't believe it. Draco Malfoy, King of Slytherin, Famed Slytherin Sex God, reads trashy romance novels."

"So? I happen to find them very edifying – big words and innovative sexual techniques abound. Besides, pornography in words is more tasteful and seemingly intellectual… more suited to the Malfoy way."

Ginny shook her head and settled herself into the crook of his arm. She couldn't resist rubbing against him like a pleased puss as they lay on his bed.

"If you keep that up, _Virginia_, I guarantee that it will not be only _'once upon a time'._"

* * *

The stench was so overwhelming that she wavered as she stood. On either side of the hall, the sick and dying lay like piles of cast-off clothing. She stepped over a woman, trying not to look at what the _Affliction_ had done to her. In some places her flesh was rotting, looking far more heinous than the burst boils oozing pus and the red rings that covered the rest of her body. She looked to her left and saw a little girl with flaxen hair and grey eyes, strewn across the woman's hand.

"_Magda… little angel…_ "she whispered as she looked at the girl's sweet face.

Her eyes roamed over the little girl and caught sight of maggots squirming around in an open boil. She gasped and clamped her hands over her mouth in an effort to keep form emptying the contents of her stomach.

"Ginevra, you must go now. Leave before the _Affliction_ claims you as well," ordered her sister, Kiera.

Kiera was average in height with smooth, unblemished brown skin. She had stunning emerald eyes that were slightly upturned at the corners, a medium nose, high cheekbones and full, bow-shaped lips that were set into an oval face. She had ebony hair and a curvy body that made men weep. She was an exotic rendering of a Grecian goddess.

Their father Aidan had been a seafarer. Aidan had travelled to the Far East and fallen in love with one of its striking maidens. He married her and took her with him on his travels. When Kiera was a year old, her mother was swept overboard and drowned during a terrible storm. Aidan lost his passion for the sea and returned to his homeland. There he fell in love again and remarried. Ginevra came along a year later.

When Aidan and Ginevra's mother died in a carriage accident, the sisters drew closer than ever to each other and were nigh inseparable. Kiera, being the elder, had assumed control of their home – Mullaly. The locals had balked at a woman, a heathen woman no less, being their ruler. However, when they saw how she managed to keep everyone fed and their purses fat, she gained their loyalty and respect. But what of the Dragon and his men, outsiders who knew nothing of her goodness?

"And what of you? Am I to leave you for the wolves?" Ginevra demanded.

"No. You are to leave me for the Dragon," Kiera quipped with a saucy grin.

"Do not jest, Kiera. Tis said he is Erik's best warrior. He's merciless, the devil's own spawn! I cannot leave you here!" Ginevra protested.

"Then tis fortunate I am from the devil as well – he is family," Kiera retorted with a chuckle.

"Kiera, I will not--"

"Go! Leave now Ginevra!" Kiera ordered, propelling her towards the stables.

Before Ginevra could put up further resistance, Kiera had their cousin Brendan scoop Ginevra into his arms an dump her on _Saracen_, Ginny's mare. Brendan slapped _Saracen_ on the rump and she galloped away with her mistress.

"Let us hope she gets to Cromley before the Dragon gets to her," Kiera murmured.

"Aye. May the angels be with her," Brendan responded.

* * *

_He was coming after her._

Ginny rode as she had never done before. She lay flat against her mare's neck, heels jamming the beast's haunches, whispers begging her to ever greater speed. If she could just evade him for a distance…

Cromley ahead, perched on a hill beyond the forest. There… just a moment away. She could hear the thunder of her horse's breath and the pulse of her heartbeat. She was never aware that his horse's hoof beats thundered along with those of _Saracen_; the first she knew of him was his attempt to sweep her from her horse.

She struggled and twisted, trying to dislodge his hold on her. When a boulder suddenly loomed up out of nowhere, it was too late to swerve, too late to do anything before she was flung from the horse's back. She hurtled through the air and plummeted to the ground. She moaned and slowly got to her feet, fighting a wave of dizziness. She turned to see him nearing her and made to run when the darkness claimed her …

Ginevra opened her eyes to see _him_ looming over her. His face was contorted and bathed in sweat as he grunted. She felt a sharp, blinding pain as he rammed into her. She cried out, biting and scratching at him. He stiffened and roared as his climax overwhelmed him, to weak to put up much of a defense. Seizing this opportunity, Ginevra grabbed his balls and squeezed with all her might. He yowled in pain and immediately withdrew himself from her, rolling to her side.

She scrambled off the bed and quickly covered herself. As she was about to escape, he grabbed her hair and yanked her away from the door. She fell to the floor. Hot tears pricked her eyes as she struggled to free herself from his tight grip that threatened to make her bald. He laughed a rumbling, diabolical laugh that made her blood run cold.

Then she spied her dirk that had clattered to the floor in their earlier struggle. She quickly grabbed it and jammed it in his foot as he hauled her to him. He howled in pain once more and released her hair. She sprang up from the floor and flew through the door. He roared and removed the short dagger form his foot and cased after her.

"_OUT…MUST GET OUT! " _her mind screamed as she ran down the corridor.

She tried doors intermittently but all were locked. It looked as if she would be trapped with him, no hope of escape. She ran until she reached the door to the North Tower, thanking the gods that it was open.

She entered and quickly shut the door behind her. She sprinted up the winding staircase, anxious to reach the room at the top before he caught up with her. She was dismayed to find that the door to the room had no latch – there was no way to keep him out.

She looked around the room for a weapon and found none. Then she spied the window that looked down on the icy river below.

_The river…I'll jump into the river. I may break my neck but I'd rather die than stay in the clutches of that beast!_

She whispered a prayer and took a moment to steel herself. Her ears picked up the distant sound of the North Tower door being flung open and she ran to the window. She took a deep breath and then jumped, plummeting to the roaring river below…

* * *

She gasped and choked, trying to catch her breath. She opened her eyes to see a pool of blood and vomit splashed against white porcelain. She looked up to see that she was in a restroom stall.

"Something the matter dear?" asked a familiar squeaky voice.

Ginny frowned and turned around to see a very flesh-and-blood Myrtle standing in the doorway.

"M-Myrtle? Moaning Myrtle?"

"In the flesh… ha ha ha…" Myrtle grinned evilly.

"But you're … you're not… you're supposed to be dead!" Ginny exclaimed.

"Why? Is it because… YOU KILLED ME?!" Myrtle roared, her face twisting with anger.

"I-I didn't. I would never--"

"Never? YOU DID!" Myrtle yelled, lunging at her.

Ginny rolled to the side and watched in horror as Myrtle bashed her head against the toilet bowl. Blood gushed out from her open head and pooled onto the floor.

"Murderer! You killed me!"

A scream lodged in Ginny's throat as she saw Myrtle glaring at her.

Ginny shook her head frantically and denied it.

"You did! Tsk tsk… this won't do at all. We can't have the filth tainting our blood. Scourgify… we must be clean. Only clean children shall have their supper… ha ha ha!" Myrtle cackle, blood gurgling in her mouth and running down her chin as she spoke.

_"Ginny…my sweet Virgnina…"_

Ginny turned to see Tom Riddle walking towards her.

"_Ginny… I've missed you."_

"Leave me alone," Ginny hissed.

"_Now, you see, I would, but you just can't seem to leave __**me**__ alone. You call to me, Virginia. The darkness in you beckons…my ripe, wicked plum… right for the plucking."_

"No!"

Ginny tried to get up from the floor but slipped. She looked down to see her hand steeped in blood that was a rich scarlet. She tried to get up again but fell into the pool of blood that was rising. She became frantic and flailed her limbs in an effort to stay above the rising level.

_"Yesss…deny it all you want. See… you can never get rid of it. It surrounds you. It stains your hands."_

"Yes, Ginny… blood stains. You can't escape it, can't get rid of it – you're covered in it. It's on your hands. They'll see it. They'll know… what you did, what you're doing, what you will do….It's on your hands, all over you," came a voice from above Ginny.

Ginny looked up to see a girl with vivid blue eyes, a pert nose, plump rosy cheeks and small lips set into a cherubic face that was framed by dark, curly hair. She wore a bloody-stained Gryffindor uniform and blood gushed from her slit throat.

"You're drowning in it," said the girl.

Suddenly the girl shoved Ginny's head beneath the sea of blood. She kicked and tried to loosen the girl's grip but failed. Ginny gasped and choked as the coppery liquid rushed into her mouth and nose…

* * *

_"Virginia…Ginny!_ _Wake up…_"

Ginny gasped and arched off the bed as she awoke. She panted as she sat up in the bed, trying to get a grip on herself. Draco rubbed small, soothing circles in her back as he regarded her with concern. As if he knew that she desperately needed it, he drew her into his arms and she let the tears fall.

Draco said nothing. Instead, he held her tightly and let her have a good cry. When she was all cried out, he reached over to his nightstand and picked up the box of tissues. Then he tenderly wiped her tear-streaked face.

"It was awful," she began.

Draco shifted his body so that she was positioned in between his legs, her head resting upon his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and she continued.

"I was in a castle and it was ravaged with disease and I was trying to escape you. I almost made it out of your clutches but you caught me and then all of a sudden I was in a bed. I was being raped by a man and I managed to get away from him afterwards by stabbing him in the foot and jumping into a river. All of a sudden I was in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

She was alive and acting barmier than usual. She kept screaming that I killed her and then… then…_he_ appeared. _Tom_ was there…and he kept telling me that I couldn't run from the darkness that's inside me. Then a strangely familiar Gryffindor girl came out of nowhere…her throat was slit and the blood gushed onto her uniform. She kept telling me that I had blood on my hands and I would never get rid of it…that everyone would know what I did. Then she drowned me in something like a sea of blood," Ginny explained.

Ginny let out a shaky breath and squeezed Draco's hand. Draco kissed the top of her head and temporarily let go of her so that he could summon his book. Then he began reading to her.

"'_Do you still mean to kiss me again?' His brows rose in surprise, but, truth to tell, her directness pleased him and fired his blood even more. 'I do,' he said, his voice heavy with passion, his shaft so full and eager he could scarcely speak. 'I shall kiss you all the night through, and not just upon your lips.' With a ragged groan, he pulled her into a savage embrace, slanting his mouth over hers in a hard, deep, and possessive kiss..,"_ said Draco in his most engaging, passionate voice.

Ginny giggled and said, "I_ shall kiss you all night and not just on your lips… _Merlin, that's a riot! How did you get into reading this kind of cheesy … garbage?!"

" Shut up. I'm getting to the good part. Don't you want to hear all the wicked, decadent things I'm going to do to you? Who knows…maybe you'll get some good tips," Draco answered.

Ginny laughed and quipped, "I should have put this at the top of my "Ways to Catch Draco Malfoy" list."

"Hush. Ahem…where was I? Not just upon your lips…ragged groan…possessive kiss…"

"You should read it like that – calling out random words in the sentences. It would be even more hilarious."

"Fine. _Urges…swept…carried…bed. Without… used… bedcurtains… down…weight. Draco…fingers…lips...hand…each. Watched… parting… desire… moistened…hardened…breasts… _Sweet Nimbus! I can't read like this."

" No…you… /gasp/ can't…stop….now… /gasp/ . The…the…st- /gasp/ story… aha ha ha… ha ha ha.." Ginny dissolved into a fit of giggles.

Draco scowled and declared, "Laughing at a bloke while he's trying to perform is a serious blow to the ego, Virginia."

"Judging by the direction the story's heading in, it won't be your ego that will be blown. _I shall kiss you…not just on your lips…"_

"Insolent wench."

"So I am. Embrace me, you savage! Give me one of your _deep, possessive kisses_."

"And not just on your lips either…"

Draco and Ginny laughed.

* * *

Everything was coming together. He could feel it down to the marrow of his bones…well, if he had bones. Soon he would have bones though…bones and so much more. He would have absolute power and control – everyone and everything would be under his thumb.

"My lord, I've received the report from Delaine. He's made significant progress in translating the scroll. He's even suggesting that what you seek may not be an object as originally thought, but a person," Lucius informed the Dark Lord.

"Excellent. Tell Dulaine that if he can get me all the answers I won't kill his family," Voldemort instructed Lucius, a sinister grin upon his face.

"Very well, my lord," said Lucius with a nod, leaving the room to have the message delivered.

Yes. It was all coming together nicely…

* * *

The twins had intensified their research over the past three months. Almost every spare moment they had was spent trying to reveal the mysteries contained in the diary yet their efforts had yielded nothing.

"Andy, have you considered that we're wrong about all this? That we're on a fun yet wild goose chase? We've been here for almost the entire year and what do we have? Zilch. Zip. Nada. Zero," asked Drew.

"I'm not entertaining such thoughts, Drew. I'm right. I know it. All I need is a little clarity. I just need some time to mull things over," Andy replied.

"You've been _mulling_ for months. Any more mulling and you'll need cheese to go with that whine," Drew quipped.

"I do not _whine_. I'm just not happy with the way things are not unfolding is all," Andy insisted.

Drew gave a tired sigh and said, "Look. I'm tired of this. I want out. No more holing up after hours in the library, no more Double-O-Slytherin, just…no more. If you don't get anything by Sunday, we're dropping this."

"But Drew--"

"We're dropping it, sis. Now I'm going to get some sleep," Drew declared.

He closed the book he had been reading and stood up. He kissed Andy on the forehead and bade her goodnight. Then he went to his room.

Andy heaved a pitiful sigh and closed her eyes briefly. When she opened her eyes, she took in the sight of the various books strewn about the floor. It made her eyes hurt.

"Ok. I can't put it off any longer. It's time to use the big guns. I'm not pulling any punches," Andy declared.


End file.
